Love, Sex and Awkward: Oddly specific - FML

Oddly specific

By Anonymous - 27/06/2022 04:00

Spicy

Today, I overheard my girlfriend admit to her sister she likes sex in the dark not because she’s embarrassed of her body, but because she’s disgusted by mine. She loves me, enjoys sex with me, and wants to make me happy, but apparently my tattoos and hairy chest are a turn off, so no lights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 630

You deserved it 400

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Same thing different taste

Body issues

By ashamed - 09/05/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me showering in the dark. When he asked why, I just told him it’s more relaxing for me. Truth is, after losing 120 lbs, I’m so disgusted by the look of my sagging skin that I can’t bear to see myself naked anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 866

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Turn me on

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 16:59 - United States - Meriden

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try having sex despite her serious body image issues. Unfortunately, I couldn't get it up due to how utterly terrified she looked. Now no matter what I say, she thinks it's all because her body is hideous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 223

You deserved it 2 935

Go-faster stripes

By Anonymous - 25/08/2022 05:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We kept the lights on for a change and he asked me, "Babe, what's that on your tummy?" They're my stretch marks. Sex and body confidence ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 219

By audied - 04/01/2010 21:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, I noticed the woman I've been sleeping with for over 2 years never lets me see her naked during sex. I confronted her about it and she replied, "I don't care if you see me naked. I was just leaving the lights off the whole time so I don't have to see you naked." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 286

You deserved it 4 615

By Anonymous - 11/09/2009 17:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 261

You deserved it 4 006

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom - Chatham

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 354

You deserved it 3 417

By teegtwo - 22/07/2014 05:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 993

You deserved it 26 997

Hairy situation

By Anonymous - 12/02/2022 10:00

Spicy

Today, I overheard my wife tell her sister how much she hates how hairy I’ve become since becoming middle-aged, and can barely bring herself to touch me when I’m naked. First I’m hearing of it, and I’d have waxed if she asked me to, but instead she bitches to her sister and humiliates me. I’m so done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 831

You deserved it 242

Creepy thing to do, for sure

By Anonymous - 11/12/2023 16:00 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, my wife told me she wanted to try something that would turn me on immediately. While I was in our bed, she came in, wearing only the underwear she took from our 13 year-old daughter's closet. Now she doesn't understand why I'm genuinely disgusted and don't want to have sex with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 141

The sight or the smell?

By Anonymous - 08/11/2022 18:00

Today, my girlfriend said she hates my feet and it’s a real turn off. It’s got to the point where if she sees my feet in bed she won’t sleep in the same bed as me. I hate wearing socks in bed, so not sure how we can resolve this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 138

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 27 June 2022 6:31

Wear a t-shirt to bed. Cheaper and less painful than a chest wax and tattoo removal.

wysegirl 24

Monday 27 June 2022 15:04

I mean she loves you for more than your body. Not everyone is about looks

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 27 June 2022 6:31

Wear a t-shirt to bed. Cheaper and less painful than a chest wax and tattoo removal.

wysegirl 24

Monday 27 June 2022 15:04

I mean she loves you for more than your body. Not everyone is about looks

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Monday 4 July 2022 3:54

There are ways to fix both of those issues. Remove the tattoos and shave your chest. Done.

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The Top

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 753

You deserved it 3 574

Today, I was told by my sister over the dinner table that some guy is telling people I’ve had sex with him; that’s not even the worst part. He’s telling people my sister walked in. One, I haven’t talked to him in years; two, he’s really not my type, three, I’m in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 96

The Top

Today, while having sex with the guy I have seen for about 3 years, he answered the phone. I found out that he had a girlfriend while he was inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 411

You deserved it 7 084

Today, a 65 year old toothless gas station attendant asked me out on a date in exchange for free gas, and I said yes. This is what my unemployment has come to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 480

You deserved it 8 282

Today, after I randomly ghosted an ex-friend and blocked her on my social media a few years ago for being too obsessed with Asian culture, I also saw the same girl making out with the same guy I’ve had a crush on the last few weeks. They’ve already started dating as of last night. Karma: 1 Me: 0. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 1 152

Today, I went with my sister to get our eyebrows waxed. I didn't think my eyebrows were that bad--and they weren't! When the guy waxed my eyebrows, he gestured my lips and said, "Moustache, too?" Mortified, I said, "No!" to which he replied, "Aw, someone no get kissy tonight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 491

You deserved it 9 972

Today, I discovered my girlfriend of 5 years would rather split up than make any shred of effort to revive her utterly dead libido from the last 2 years. She promised the whole past month to make an effort, before admitting she never gave a shit when my patience with her ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 866

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Today, it’s been so long since I got laid, I got turned on by a knothole in a tree trunk because it looked a lot like a woman’s downstairs area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 1 101