Intimacy: Not now!

Not now!

By Ineedit - 26/02/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 101

You deserved it 2 568

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/11/2010 16:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 723

You deserved it 37 348

Mama's Boy

By Anonymous - 08/03/2017 04:00 - United States

Today, my husband answered a FaceTime call from his mother not 30 seconds after sex. I was naked in bed next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 777

You deserved it 588

By liz1234 - 23/03/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 202

You deserved it 8 125

Scarred for life

By Guess who's back - 10/07/2022 10:00 - Australia - Homebush

Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 1 790

Not now

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 23:00

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate in the morning. First time in forever. Things were just starting to get steamy when our 10-month-old daughter woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 200

You deserved it 258

Just once

By Anonymous - 19/02/2020 20:00

Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 946

You deserved it 191

By sad gf - 14/11/2010 20:29

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. Just as we were ready, his mom called to say happy anniversary. She was so excited for us, she was going to stop by. After throwing out our unused and only spare condom, she called us and said she was just kidding, and to enjoy ourselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 810

You deserved it 5 851

Peek a boo

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 02:31 - United States - Tampa

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 041

You deserved it 16 160

Weird family

By Veronica - 29/12/2022 09:00 - United States - Allentown

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. His mom didn’t know much about it, and she walked in on us. After about 5 minutes she came back up, threw a box of condoms at us, says, "Continue" and walked out. We were still fucking while she was in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 2 021

By Anonymous - 03/10/2012 04:25 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my husband spent our entire anniversary sulking because I wasn't up for sex. I gave birth to our first child less than two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 873

You deserved it 6 504

masterblaster39 0

Friday 26 February 2010 23:07

according to my wife.....******** only take 4 minutes!

swaggintothamax 0

Monday 28 February 2011 11:09

15 is a wayy too long. I'd be bored by then

Comments

ladymissfrancess 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 0:39

this sounds like something my MIL would do. just say it's not a good time. i don't care if she lives an hour away, if she's showing up unexpected, she needs to learn it's not okay and you're not available (especially with a newborn) to entertain her at a moment's notice.

kenyrabit 25

Saturday 11 June 2016 21:25

Oh, hello MILly! Could you circle the block a few times? Jr. just laid down for a nap, which means Sr. just got up!

thatssomeBS 9

Saturday 27 February 2010 0:39

5 minutes is plenty of time...

furismurder 4

Saturday 27 February 2010 0:41

Hate the in-laws!!

Horney4her69 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 0:44

whats the problem? 5 minutes is enough time for sex

txdiva 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 0:44

Why answer the phone if y'all were about to have sex??!! YDI for answering the phone!!!!

Squander 3

Saturday 27 February 2010 4:02

Just because they didn't answer the phone doesn't mean that Mom isn't coming. It just means they don't find out mom's coming. So they'd either be interrupted during fun times [which sucks] or caught in action [sucks more]

sublimaze 6

Saturday 27 February 2010 0:59

if mom walked in and saw ass and legs in the air, she would call well in advance the next time

perdix 29

Saturday 27 February 2010 0:59

So? You'll have 4-1/2 minutes to clean yourself up and you wait until your mother-in-law to arrive to get your ass into the kitchen and make them both sammiches.