Sex, Awkward, Religion, Wanker and Intimacy: No fun allowed - FML

No fun allowed

By but cum to think of it... - 03/07/2015 21:29

Spicy

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 360

You deserved it 2 281

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/01/2015 07:01 - United States

Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 513

You deserved it 2 837

By PerfectBoyfriend - 07/06/2016 16:38 - Belgium - Reet

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend got pissed because she thought she heard me masturbating in the bathroom. I was brushing my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 379

You deserved it 1 912

Assumptions

By oops - 08/05/2013 14:44 - Canada - Okotoks

Spicy

Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 573

You deserved it 5 686

Creepy

By Thank God I Flush Them Down The Toilet - 26/09/2015 01:10 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I walked into my room and watched as my fanatically religious mother sniffed the used tissues in my trash bin to make sure I wasn't masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 597

You deserved it 2 240

By Anonymous - 30/11/2017 22:00 - United States - Littleton

Spicy

Today, my 14-year-old sister came into the bathroom while I was in it. When she saw me, she said sorry and left. Little did I know, she took my electric toothbrush to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 812

You deserved it 558

By laughingflame - 04/08/2011 06:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 152

You deserved it 12 920

The heart wants what it wants

By Anonymous - 03/12/2023 03:00

Spicy

Today, my strictly religious parents found my vibrator. I’m a man and when they found out I masturbate with a penis shaped vibe up my ass they went Catholic nuclear on me. I'm trying to ignore them but they have sent up camp in my living room and refuse to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 227

By Sarah - 25/08/2009 16:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 619

You deserved it 10 410

By Vincent - 02/01/2014 05:04 - United States - Overland Park

Spicy

Today, I asked my mom why she had two tooth brushes: one manual and one electric. She said: "I only use the manual one for brushing my teeth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 120

You deserved it 8 333

Play it cool

By Fraser - 08/03/2012 19:03 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 200

You deserved it 56 609

Next

Top comments

odamaliekh 26

Saturday 4 July 2015 9:39

Anything can be a ***** if you're brave enough.

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 4 July 2015 9:37

What's her reaction to mouthwash or Vaseline?

Comments

hazelnuts 15

Saturday 4 July 2015 13:36

I apologise for the last comment that offended some poor innocent soul. But as I was saying this FML has been used a few times already, the only thing that changes in this story is the mothers children.

daddysgirl243 21

Saturday 4 July 2015 14:40

dirty mind

disbatch 14

Saturday 4 July 2015 15:04

Pray for her

EvilLittleMan 23

Saturday 4 July 2015 15:08

I am sure with a little investigative work around the house, you will unearth the King Kong sized, super turbo charged, combination ***** / vibrator.

viggysmallz 8

Saturday 4 July 2015 15:26

I'm sorry, wasn't this exact post on here a few months ago?

sp00derman 23

Saturday 4 July 2015 15:37

Tell her that's what her's is for ;)

SaniK 17

Saturday 4 July 2015 15:52

I had a mom like that too growing up, you just have to remain calm and don't engage in a lengthy conversation because it's like arguing with politicians, you just can't win. You could try "I bought this for this reason and if I'm lying, Jesus will know."

gracehi 31

Saturday 4 July 2015 15:55

Your mom is silly.

SMHsohard 22

Saturday 4 July 2015 16:42

This seems to be a fixation for the religious Right. I despair for their oral hygiene.

Colon_Man 17

Saturday 4 July 2015 17:05

Accuse her of buying a washing machine only for sitting on.

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The Top

Today, on my friend's birthday, I met a guy I really liked at a club, and he asked me to go home with him. At 2 a.m., my friend called but I missed her calls. When I woke up, she'd texted me pictures of all my things that I had at her place thrown outside in the snow. All because I didn’t go home with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 574

You deserved it 1 202

Here's another FML video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com. Enjoy! Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tre...

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 28

The Top

Today, it seems that my four previous girlfriends all left me because they found better, more attractive, more wealthy, more interesting men. My entire love life feels like I’m the warm up act for the main event of other dudes getting laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 253

Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 790

You deserved it 18 488

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 555

You deserved it 11 320

Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 325

You deserved it 4 130

Today, my dad has discovered selfies and my mom has discovered taking pictures of food. Now I'm at a restaurant, suffering through it all and not being able to eat anything until my mom has taken pictures of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 125

You deserved it 2 616

Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 617

You deserved it 6 736