Intimacy: Nice day for it - FML

Nice day for it

By peachykeen - 15/02/2016 01:05 - United States - Savannah

Spicy

Today, the most action I had on Valentine's day was a homeless guy pulling his dick out at me as I walked home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 049

You deserved it 1 923

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Same thing different taste

By scarredforlife - 16/06/2013 23:27 - United States - Brooklyn

Spicy

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 482

You deserved it 5 038

By meesmees - 23/11/2013 10:48 - United States - Severna Park

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 810

You deserved it 6 807

By :| - 16/04/2011 02:04 - Canada

Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 631

You deserved it 6 369

Vanilla Ice

By NotInterested - 23/08/2013 06:23 - United States

Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping at me while pointing at his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 083

You deserved it 4 635

Oh, hai Mark!

By scarredforlife - 12/02/2016 09:00 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Spicy

Today, I experienced one of those moments in life you never forget. I walked into a homeless man masturbating in a parking garage stairwell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 380

You deserved it 1 830

By NoNaMe - 04/06/2009 08:07 - Australia

Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 638

You deserved it 75 191

Consider the offer

By Anonymous - 03/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I, someone who has experienced only one romantic relationship in my 35 years (which ended 8 years ago), was hit on by a homeless drug felon client at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 113

By Melaknee - 19/03/2009 00:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 448

You deserved it 149 757

Free hugs

By Anonymous - 25/07/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "WTF am I doing?" he kissed my boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 664

You deserved it 53 175

By Anonymous - 27/06/2009 08:20 - Japan

Spicy

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138 487

You deserved it 10 412

Next

Top comments

Talis99 26

Monday 15 February 2016 12:18

More than I got.

whatarethisss 23

Monday 15 February 2016 12:19

I guess he was trying to get some action on Valentine's Day too.

Comments

moocowmilk0 19

Monday 15 February 2016 13:31

You made his day probably (:

Dawnoftime 12

Monday 15 February 2016 13:35

Anyone else notice that Valentine's Day causes more harm and despair than good?

atleast_fml 6

Monday 15 February 2016 15:51

it is purely commercial thing

moodyreallyrocks 27

Monday 15 February 2016 14:05

Hope next year will be better..

melbournearsenal 18

Monday 15 February 2016 15:30

Who says chivalry is dead?

atleast_fml 6

Monday 15 February 2016 15:49

at least he finds you attractive.

am1717 22

Monday 15 February 2016 16:09

Better than nothing :)

hellnosucka 27

Monday 15 February 2016 17:25

who knows? maybe even three if they're lucky.

pete2274 12

Monday 15 February 2016 19:43

Homeless people need love too.

babywhiz 2

Monday 15 February 2016 19:44

I actually had to read this 4 times before I realized he wasn't actually IN you... I blame the FML above (about the stage actors getting caught when the curtains opened) for that visual.

miki07 4

Monday 15 February 2016 19:47

I read that as a homeless guy pulling his dick out of me. I was a little horrified for a second.

Keywords

Management Work Jealousy Love Relatable Mental health Relationship advice Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Healthy Lifestyle Ironic Food Money Birthday Family Mother in law Gifts Parents Public freakouts Education Exams Students Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

The Top

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 200

You deserved it 7 093

Today, the bank called to ask when were we going to make the mortgage payments for our family home. We were several months late. I had been transferring my mother the cash to make the mortgage payments after she lost her money gambling. She absolutely promised she would stop several months ago. I guess she lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 1 621

The Top

Today, while my boyfriend was sneaking out before my parents awoke, he slipped on some ice and fell on their car. The alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 276

You deserved it 29 760

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 099

You deserved it 9 457

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 890

You deserved it 39 831

Today, it was my first driving lesson. I was so bad, the police stopped me and accused me of being drunk, because I almost crashed into the pole in front of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 489

You deserved it 952

Today, while using the leg press at the gym, some guy thought he could use more weight than me since I look really young. He hurt himself. He then blamed me and tried to get me kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 126

You deserved it 1 302

Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 505

You deserved it 37 314