Miscellaneous: Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a... - FML

By meesmees - 23/11/2013 10:48 - United States - Severna Park

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 809

You deserved it 6 805

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/11/2012 11:34 - United States - Macungie

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 984

You deserved it 4 340

Free hugs

By Anonymous - 25/07/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "WTF am I doing?" he kissed my boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 664

You deserved it 53 175

By :| - 16/04/2011 02:04 - Canada

Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 630

You deserved it 6 369

By Groped - 02/04/2011 00:45 - United States

Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 786

You deserved it 5 262

By HaliMali - 22/02/2015 18:21 - United States - Hastings

Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 420

You deserved it 3 703

By Kev - 19/02/2009 23:42 - Canada

Today, I walked home from work when a woman asked me to come inside for a free meal. It was at a homeless shelter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 228

You deserved it 5 192

By Anonymous - 12/11/2010 21:31 - United States

Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 903

You deserved it 5 016

You OK dude?

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 69

By Anonymous - 16/05/2009 00:11 - Canada

Today, as I was walking towards my friends at the bus stop, a man came up to me and asked me out. This was the first time I'd be asked out in months. I accepted. When I reached my friends they looked at me then asked, "Why were you talking to that homeless guy?". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 457

You deserved it 18 203

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 851

You deserved it 4 479

Next

Top comments

Grauncho 27

Saturday 23 November 2013 19:39

Looks like he got dessert with that meal.

xtna 9

Saturday 23 November 2013 19:42

The ass grope. By definition the best way to thank someone.

Comments

Grauncho 27

Saturday 23 November 2013 19:39

Looks like he got dessert with that meal.

Adree 15

Saturday 23 November 2013 19:45

A piece of ass cake

euphoricness 28

Saturday 23 November 2013 20:11

A piece of ***** soup

MrSassypants 32

Saturday 23 November 2013 20:42

11 and 23 wha... wha... what? And why?

Gingerette 8

Saturday 23 November 2013 20:50

Don't ask, Mr. Sassypants..

8born8 18

Saturday 23 November 2013 21:37

11 & 23 the sheer stupidity of your comments gave me a headache.

fucMyLifeSoHard 18

Saturday 23 November 2013 22:07

23- Pray tell, how do you have a piece of soup?

Soloman212 28

Saturday 23 November 2013 22:08

***** soup, no less.

LowExpectations 30

Saturday 23 November 2013 22:52

(Zoidberg voice) What's this? Two meals in one week?

XypherDubstep 8

Sunday 24 November 2013 6:52

I could not find a more perfect comment

lickastick 27

Saturday 23 November 2013 19:39

Looks like you gave him more than a meal ;)

gc327072 30

Sunday 24 November 2013 0:46

A meal and a feel! "Do you want the combo?" "Yes… yeeessss…"

Gittoh 21

Saturday 23 November 2013 19:40

better something than nothing I guess

onlychildFTW 33

Sunday 24 November 2013 3:42

I'll take the nothing thanks.

addioty 19

Saturday 23 November 2013 19:41

He got a little bit of dessert, eh?

Snorlax_Snarf 10

Saturday 23 November 2013 21:46

Wow Many down votes Much sadness.

kxxjoejoexxk 8

Sunday 24 November 2013 1:44

Am I the only one who understands that if you say something out of context its not funny?

angiemarie96 25

Sunday 24 November 2013 3:00

#47 When doing "doge speak" Wow ALWAYS comes last :P

Snorlax_Snarf 10

Sunday 24 November 2013 3:57

Many downvotes Much sadness Wow ;D there

addioty 19

Sunday 24 November 2013 7:15

****, someone posted right before me as I was still typing and I just now saw it. Oops.

xtna 9

Saturday 23 November 2013 19:42

The ass grope. By definition the best way to thank someone.

MrSassypants 32

Saturday 23 November 2013 20:44

That's what I'm saying!.... I am not holding up in court so well, however.

beaglegal 42

Saturday 23 November 2013 19:42

It's the thought that counts!

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Saturday 23 November 2013 21:56

I don't understand what everyone's problem with homeless people grabbing their ass is about. I go around grabbing homeless people's asses all the time. They never complain about it!

beaglegal 42

Saturday 23 November 2013 22:27

Omg you just won the internet #51

Awesomeaxel 24

Saturday 23 November 2013 19:42

Homeless guy got two birds with one stone. A meal and a couple of butt squeezes.

scottyspot 11

Saturday 23 November 2013 19:43

You made his day, so he was simply trying to make yours better!

67FML 5

Saturday 23 November 2013 19:43

Does that qualify as a date?

truesarrif 33

Saturday 23 November 2013 19:45

No good deed goes unpunished.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 705

You deserved it 5 785

Today, I brought my daughter to work with me. When we walked in, a client was blowing up at my boss, all because as my boss was walking past his storage unit, he glanced in and was about to compliment how neat it was. After my boss left, I had to deal with the aftermath, which left my daughter terrified of this man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 81

The Top

Today, for the millionth time, my mother grounded me for “giving her a dirty look.” I can't see my own face, and I was actually in a good mood at the time. Whenever I accidentally give someone a dirty look, it always comes as a complete surprise, and my mother refuses to believe this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 89

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through my birthday card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 181

You deserved it 3 972

Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 762

You deserved it 2 899

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 071

You deserved it 89 564

Today, my officemate used the telephone beside my desk again. I still can't think of a better way to tell him how awful bad his breath is without the having to do it personally. We've been workmates for a year now and he still hasn't gotten a clue, despite of me covering my nose every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 677

You deserved it 586

Today, I read an incoming message on my wife's phone. "I miss your warm hands and mouth". The message came from a female co-worker of hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 760

You deserved it 6 048