Intimacy and Sex: New skills - FML

New skills

By Anonymous - 27/09/2020 08:03 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity. Today, I also learned how to fake an orgasm. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 1 187

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/12/2009 05:19 - United States

Spicy

Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 595

You deserved it 6 379

By sosadbuttrue - 14/01/2012 13:15 - Switzerland

Spicy

Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 172

You deserved it 27 940

By unsatisfied - 09/02/2010 03:33 - France

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 454

You deserved it 5 359

Bad actor

By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 23:00

Spicy

Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 1 325

Fake it til you make it

By Anonymous - 02/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Spicy

Today, I learned that I don’t need to fake my orgasms, even though I’ve never been given one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 143

By Anonymous - 20/09/2011 10:39 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able to climax from masturbating, I instinctively faked an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 719

You deserved it 9 164

Hashtag Not All Men, but quite a few, eh?

By Anonymous - 30/10/2022 21:00 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Spicy

Today, I was having some fun with a guy, but I had to fake orgasm twice just so he would get out of me it was that shit. Third guy in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 1 107

By Lady Vulva - 19/09/2015 02:56

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 939

You deserved it 3 064

A tale as old as time

By flopsy - 03/12/2010 16:19 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 404

You deserved it 11 353

By CanWeAllGetOne - 13/11/2013 06:40 - United States - Houston

Spicy

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 886

You deserved it 14 052

Next

Top comments

bobsanction 18

Sunday 27 September 2020 8:04

Instead of fake orgasms, try real communication.

icalledhisname 12

Sunday 27 September 2020 15:24

No one should ever fake an ****** for any reason. Either you need to get off or you don’t. It’s possible to enjoy sex without an ******. The best sex I ever had was with a partner where neither of us ever got off, it was about being in the moment. Communication is everything, don’t learn to have sex badly like that, you’re setting yourself up for a very unfulfilling sex life when it can and should be soooo good. If you WANT an ******, you just really need to find what you like to do to make it happen.

Comments

wrenavery90 12

Saturday 28 May 2022 23:46

No. Absolutely no. Do not do that again. He'll never get better if he thinks you're completely pleased. Please speak up. Or guide him. Something.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I met up with a guy from Bumble for a first date. An hour in, he asks me, "What's your take on body odor?" He proceeds to tell me about his intimate relationship with his body odor and how his armpits take on the scents of his lovers' lady bits. He added that the "essence" of his ex often returns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 70

Today, I'm meeting my boyfriend's very conservative parents for the first time, so I decided to dress appropriately and curl my hair to match. In doing so, I accidentally touched my neck with the iron, and I now have a burn there that look a lot like a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 979

You deserved it 4 898

The Top

Today, my boyfriend of almost two years proposed to me. Everything was perfect. The ring was beautiful. And seconds after I said yes, he went to play his new Xbox game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 727

You deserved it 7 996

Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other than family for the first time in my life. It was a CPR dummy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 899

You deserved it 7 371

Today, I dressed in my sexiest clothes to meet my new boyfriend at a restaurant. As I was a bit early, I took the opportunity to smoke a cigarette outside while I waited. The restaurant owner came out and said, "Hey, you. Go and 'work' somewhere else, please." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 510

You deserved it 18 944

Today, I tried to show off my basketball skills to a cute girl at the park. I went up for a dunk and ended up getting stuck in the net, hanging upside down while everyone laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 971

Today, I had my end of year physics exam. I wasn't sure about some stuff, so I hid my notes and textbook in the bathroom. Halfway through, I got up, went to the bathroom, and as soon as I picked up the book, forgot what I was looking for. I can't even cheat right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 777

You deserved it 53 373

Today, I got fired because I was “constantly sick”. Constantly in this case meaning: the one time the entire office had Covid, including myself, plus 4 single days in a whole year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 260

You deserved it 133