Sex and Intimacy: My ears!

My ears!

By puking now - 14/12/2013 00:34 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 172

You deserved it 5 152

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 582

You deserved it 4 974

By OhFseriously123 - 06/08/2009 10:05 - Italy

Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 531

You deserved it 13 636

By jackson - 06/09/2010 17:02 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 131

You deserved it 39 049

Creeped out

By shawty - 22/08/2010 12:14 - Australia

Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 177

You deserved it 6 454

By Awkward... - 29/01/2013 09:40 - United States - Killeen

Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 219

You deserved it 4 994

Nooooooo!

By ScarredEars - 12/08/2010 12:02 - United States

Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 355

You deserved it 3 798

By why - 28/07/2014 01:55 - United States

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 700

You deserved it 5 525

Disrespectful

By awskme - 09/01/2010 00:36 - France

Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 847

You deserved it 29 078

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 232

You deserved it 3 318

By Anonymous - 03/01/2009 16:48 - France

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 670

You deserved it 4 390

Nyx_fml 23

Saturday 14 December 2013 5:05

Seems like her boyfriend wasn't the only one getting milked.

Nederlander95 14

Saturday 14 December 2013 5:04

I guess he was just a real BULL in bed

Comments

joea21 21

Saturday 14 December 2013 5:09

Welcome to the barnyard.

JoseIsAdork 31

Saturday 14 December 2013 5:10

milk me like one of your french cows!

NessaMae 19

Saturday 14 December 2013 8:47

I just ******* lost it reading your comment. That was amazing, it's officially my favorite thing now.

ZY1431 24

Saturday 14 December 2013 5:13

barn time brawl y'all

hitemup789 4

Saturday 14 December 2013 5:13

She took the bull by the horn...

jaycee1209 5

Saturday 14 December 2013 5:18

I see how the milkshake song started now.. ugh (shivers)

TheCerealKiller 24

Saturday 14 December 2013 5:20

At least they closed the door-implying she wasn't born in a barn.

ThatNutellaTho 6

Saturday 21 December 2013 10:28

I Soo Loved That Cx

timss4 19

Saturday 14 December 2013 5:22

Somehow I feel retaliation is way too easy with this one. But I guess that's just the evil mind of an older brother talkin haha

MilitaryPegasus 18

Saturday 14 December 2013 5:24

Omfg, that's great XD. I'm sorry op

olpally 32

Saturday 14 December 2013 5:25

He was just milking her, no worries. Hahaha.

carelessxdanger 9

Saturday 14 December 2013 5:29

could of been worse. at least she wasnt quacking (:

magickitten 26

Saturday 14 December 2013 6:19

Or she could have been baa-ing!

Keywords

Management Work Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Relatable Healthy Lifestyle Money Birthday Family Gifts Mother in law Public freakouts Parents Education Students Exams Pranks Weird Love Argument AITA Insects Fear Cats Skincare Job interview Jealousy Coworkers

The Top

Ahoy ship's boys and girls ! Today we're heading to France. Be ready to face rain, storm and beer because Lille is welcoming us, and believe me, it's not Los Angeles. Do you all have your raincoats? -Bonjour ! First of all, present yourself ma jol...

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 6

Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 049

You deserved it 4 457

The Top

Today, I was sitting on the wooden edge of my coffee table watching my sister's boyfriend play Halo 2, when I leaned back to stretch and shattered the center pane of glass in the table. I now have a large gash in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 584

You deserved it 25 663

Today, I met a wonderful man and agreed to go on a date. Halfway through the date, he started telling about how much he hates his wife. And his four kids. I texted him after I walked out, saying not to call me again. He agreed. His wife didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 484

You deserved it 354

Today, I used my new French Press to make my morning coffee. Turns out, I pressed too hard, and the entire press disassembled, turning my morning into a caffeinated crime scene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 182

Today, I got a change of ID. My old ID had its corner cut off and was given a temporary paper ID. I went to a bar in another town to have some drinks. Turns out I couldn't because they couldn't use my old ID or my temporary one to let me drink, even though I'm 22. I've been there before and I work at my town's liquor store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 159

Today, I borrowed my 23-year-old son's laptop. The sticky keyboard gave me a good idea of his browsing history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 067

You deserved it 14 088

Today, I came home and told my mom that I got the lead in the school musical, which I was very happy about. She pulled me into a hug then said, "But you know you can't really sing, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 927

You deserved it 3 056