Animals and Awkward: Mom know best

Mom know best

By Anonymous - 27/01/2023 15:00

Today, I realized my mom was right. I should have listened to her and not gotten a pet alligator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 1 628

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By wekasdjkasldasdkasdzcawqe - 07/08/2013 20:55 - Sweden

Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 075

You deserved it 5 690

By Anonymous - 03/06/2015 01:34 - United States - West Chester

Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 419

You deserved it 4 335

By FlipYoC - 16/09/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, my mom was criticizing how I can't handle taking care of any living thing because I'm too irresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to my apartment, only to find that my fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 738

You deserved it 60 929

By Anonymous - 07/05/2009 17:22 - United States

Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 760

You deserved it 4 692

By izu - 16/09/2011 05:40 - United States

Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 204

You deserved it 2 743

What ARE you doing?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, I was so tired at the pet store I was working at that I accidentally offered a kid a dog treat instead of their dog. He ate it. While his mom watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 350

You deserved it 1 523

Uh oh

By uh-oh - 25/03/2012 05:49 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 609

You deserved it 3 729

By Anonymous - 09/11/2015 14:58 - United States - Redlands

Today, my mother informed me that she sold my dog to pay off some bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 778

You deserved it 1 838

Puppy love

By Anonymous - 12/12/2023 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mom is pissed and grounded me when I didn’t show girlish, squealing enthusiasm when she went out and came home with a dog; a big dog. I hate dogs, there is no creature I despise more than dogs. I prefer spiders to dogs, and she knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 315

By WTF - 16/01/2013 07:52

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 570

You deserved it 4 350

2deployments1divorce 11

Friday 27 January 2023 16:07

Florida man is here!

anothergenericuncreativename 13

Friday 27 January 2023 17:26

or listened to common sense. it's sad that people this stupid even CAN get a pet alligator.

Comments

2deployments1divorce 11

Friday 27 January 2023 16:07

Florida man is here!

spinningrecords 14

Friday 27 January 2023 16:48

Flush it down the toilet before it gets to big. -every 80’s horror movie fan

anothergenericuncreativename 13

Friday 27 January 2023 17:26

or listened to common sense. it's sad that people this stupid even CAN get a pet alligator.

Crowned Sataness 12

Friday 27 January 2023 21:59

uh yeah that's a bigger than a bathtub commitment there, spanky

jcarter25 12

Friday 17 February 2023 22:14

“C’mon man, There’s gotta be more to this story. I’m on pills here.” -Mitch Hedberg

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Fight Family Love Relatable Students Work Sleep Noise Birds Animals Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Teenagers Friends Intimacy Sex Embarrassing Revenge Food Cats

The Top

Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33

You deserved it 1 564

Today, after getting ghosted by a company for a job I really wanted, I posted on LinkedIn, venting my frustration with companies not having the decency to send rejection letters. My current boss, who didn't know I was job hunting, saw it, and let me know I'm now on the shit list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 908

The Top

Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 824

You deserved it 3 857

Today, my boyfriend was such a coward that instead of breaking up with me, he changed his phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 815

You deserved it 3 607

Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 620

You deserved it 12 942

Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 163

Today, I left my wallet on the train again. You'd think I'd be extra careful after losing it once. That's 3 times this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 028

You deserved it 15 239

Today, I went to my parents' for dinner, who greeted me outside and immediately my mom said, “What are you wearing? Go to my room and change your shirt.” I was with my husband and I’m 47. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 119