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By  Pleonasm  |  31

Yea, I found out the other day that I am infertile. I bought a pet chimpanzee and raised him and everything, and WTF? He isn't turning into a human?? Like how is this possible? I though people came from apes? Anyway this isn't Grow Your Own T-Rex. I bet the salesman just told her that iguanas turned into Dinosaurs to seal the deal on that 500 metre squared terrarium that the shop couldn't get rid of.

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By  Pleonasm  |  31

Yea, I found out the other day that I am infertile. I bought a pet chimpanzee and raised him and everything, and WTF? He isn't turning into a human?? Like how is this possible? I though people came from apes? Anyway this isn't Grow Your Own T-Rex. I bet the salesman just told her that iguanas turned into Dinosaurs to seal the deal on that 500 metre squared terrarium that the shop couldn't get rid of.

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  XxDevilxXGt  |  26

No I had already bought that to store my one pet platypus.

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  Enslaved  |  36

Perhaps if you breed the OP's GF's lizard and your platypus, their hybrid dinosaur baby will be a lickalotofpus. The perfect pet for the ladies! (:

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  Enslaved  |  36

Who said anything about the hybrid going down on me? I just want to pet a pet. Damn! Now "pet, jet, set, get, let, net, vet" words are all dancing in my mind! :P

By  WatsonIsThatDood  |  6

Quick!!!! Consult the wizard!!!

By  XxDevilxXGt  |  26

Hey I would be crying too if they gave me fake dinosaurs. Riding aroud on my Bronchosaurous(sp?).

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  Pleonasm  |  31

Don't know about you guys, but I was always scared of the plesiosaurus. You thought swimming in the sea after watching Jaws was scary? Imagine having that thing in the ocean... *pees self*

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  I_iz_B_a_troll  |  23

I always wanted a pet compsognathus. They may be small, but you take a chicken, combine a lizard and a wallaby with the teeth of a shark and you've got one bad-ass little killer. Meanwhile, I'm still waiting on my bearded dragon to turn into a real dragon; I've no clue why the wings haven't sprouted yet!

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  poccocurantes  |  7

And people are worried about dog owners. My advise; if you get a dinosaur don't just leave them chained up in the back yard. They need to be socialized or they get mean.

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  ViviMage  |  32

It must have coughed a lot!

By  kurodansei  |  15

Tell her to give a little more land before time. Also you'll be the best boyfriend ever if you discreetly switch her lizards with kamodo dragons(good luck with that)

By  strawberrywine22  |  27

Take her lizards back to the pet store, go to the dollar store and get two of those foam dinosaurs that grow when you put them in water. Grow them to full-size, put them in the lizard tank, and voila!

By  DocBastard  |  38

You should tell her she just isn't feeding her pre-dinosaurs the wrong foods. She needs to give them ground up unicorn horns, sprinkled with fairy dust, mixed with Loch Ness Monster tail. Give it that concoction, and POOF! Instant velociraptor. If she actually starts shopping around for those ingredients, run. Just run.

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