Intimacy: Messy

Messy

By hopeless1 - 26/04/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, I met a really hot guy at a bar. We talked for a while and really seemed to hit it off. We ended up going to my apartment. He stopped and said, "Clean up this mess and maybe we could do something another time." I am a complete neat freak - my apartment had been robbed and trashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 934

You deserved it 5 837

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Chelsea - 02/04/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 413

You deserved it 38 882

By ultraattitude - 22/04/2012 07:01 - United States - Union City

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 002

You deserved it 12 617

Niles Crane wannabe

By that’s crazy - 12/02/2023 17:00 - United States

Today, I felt comfortable enough to invite the guy I’ve been seeing over to my apartment for the first time. Things immediately got weird when he started to inspect my place top to bottom to make sure it was “clean to his standards”. I told him to leave when he started going in my closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 106

By Melaknee - 19/03/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 448

You deserved it 149 754

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 06:29 - Norway - Oslo

Today, I was really impressed with the man I've been in a relationship with for over two years. He had finally really cleaned his apartment. Everything was washed and fixed, even my stuff was cleared from open surfaces. All so his lover would not find out about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 957

You deserved it 2 471

By Anonymous - 11/04/2015 22:05 - United States - Shelby

Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 921

You deserved it 11 897

By jsw029 - 26/02/2009 04:51 - United States

Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and about 30 seconds in he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Turns out he already came. I call his phone - wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 055

You deserved it 20 900

By anonymous - 07/06/2009 06:18 - Korea Republic of

Today, I met a hot guy at the club. We danced and had a really good time, so I invited him home with me for the night. The next morning, I awoke to the sound of what I thought to be running water. I looked up to find him, naked and pissing into my air conditioner unit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 375

You deserved it 25 666

Bang for your buck

By Anonymous - 24/08/2022 06:00

Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 893

You deserved it 556

Is this the worst Netflix and chill ever?

By Anonymous - 15/08/2018 06:00

Today, a guy I'd been seeing briefly came over for cocktails and a movie. The night ended with him vomiting in my bathroom and on my couch, using my toothbrush, then proceeding to tell me how big his ex-boyfriend's dick was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 983

You deserved it 516

JohnFR33M4N 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 16:11

cockblocked by a robber. never heard that one before

24788 6

Sunday 26 April 2009 16:08

That really sucks, but he should have waited if you were robbed. Not a true guy imo, find someone better.

Comments

patray_angel 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 21:34

Like others, I would be more upset that my apartment was robbed.

ArmyOfOne 0

Friday 1 May 2009 21:52

FYL for apartment being robbed. Feel for ya. Stop generalizing all guys as horny tards who want sex no matter what. Makes the rest of us look bad.

omnomnom_fml 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 18:44

Maybe if he wasn't a complete stranger at a bar he'd care about you and not your apartment. Or be understanding at the very least.

daviedubbs 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 5:34

that dude sounds like the biggest **** in the world

bradlb16 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 3:57

how much u wanna bet that that was the guy who robbed u

FML7777 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 11:54

This is fake, no guy would turn down sex because your house is messy unless he was trying to get away from you. In which case why would he have come to your place in the first place?