Intimacy: Today, I met a hot guy at the club. We danced and had a really...

By anonymous - 07/06/2009 06:18 - Korea Republic of

Today, I met a hot guy at the club. We danced and had a really good time, so I invited him home with me for the night. The next morning, I awoke to the sound of what I thought to be running water. I looked up to find him, naked and pissing into my air conditioner unit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 375

You deserved it 25 665

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 11:15 - United States

Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 562

You deserved it 24 311

By Anonymous - 09/10/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 470

You deserved it 2 801

By Chelsea - 02/04/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 412

You deserved it 38 882

By anon - 20/12/2016 23:57 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, after taking a guy home and getting frisky, he woke up in the middle of the night, got out of bed, and peed on my desk. That's 2 years of uni work and my laptop soaked through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 779

You deserved it 2 895

Classic

By Singleagain - 10/01/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 113

Oh, hai Mark!

By Anonymous - 26/09/2021 10:59

Today, my kids did not tell me the AC guy was here. I got up and went to the restroom in my bra and underwear, and the AC guy was standing in the bathroom. Our AC unit is downstairs, so both me and the AC guy were shocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 192

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 623

You deserved it 4 154

Awkward

By Nikki - 18/03/2009 03:15 - United States

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 147

You deserved it 91 463

Classic lineup

By Phoellie - 28/08/2009 11:43 - United Kingdom

Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs. I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex. Afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd also had great sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 283

You deserved it 5 222

By jo - 20/02/2010 10:47 - United States

Today, I finally got to hook up with this hot guy I'd been talking to for a few weeks. To my surprise, he was sinfully drunk when he arrives. As we were going at it, he shits on my white carpet. Now the phrase "f***ing the shit out of someone" has a brand new meaning for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 486

You deserved it 6 078

Helldozer 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:19

YDI for bringing random people into your apartment, *****.

breakthesky 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:14

Haha um...

Comments

breakthesky 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:14

Haha um...

underaegis 0

Friday 20 August 2010 8:54

ummm what!!! u had sex sooooooooo waking up to that compared to some other FMLs makes it a good thing...Right?

gntfmlingnow 12

Monday 17 October 2011 21:58

Those crazy Koreans and their air conditioning toilets.

BigCheezy73 2

Sunday 1 April 2012 6:30

sizzle...

speedydrumstix 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:15

hahahaha wtf!

flighted 1

Tuesday 24 May 2011 19:57

I don't understand how people can take some random "hot guy" home and expect something like this NOT to happen. -.-

boogiefcrazy 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 5:43

I kinda gotta agree...xD that's f****in hilarious

TheNewGuy03 28

Tuesday 27 September 2016 6:51

Nah, just soju.

burrito_supreme 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:15

LOL

Sambo110 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:17

Umm, this is strange. What would you do in that situation, and in your air conditioner unit? How the hell...

Everlost 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:17

thats normal.

Zombierella 2

Friday 10 July 2009 21:51

ROFL #5

Helldozer 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:19

YDI for bringing random people into your apartment, *****.

nicoleyy 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 7:37

I know wtf

q_tipperz 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:20

ew that's so unattractive of him .

Garanaw 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:20

Waaaah ...

jj732 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:20

hope you got his number! :D oh and i agree with #6.

testing_fml 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:22

****! You got what you deserved! Jezebel!!!

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The Top

Today, I literally caught my husband with his prick in another woman’s mouth and he had the nerve, the actual nerve, to tell me, "It’s not what it looks like, babe", all while trying to stuff his lipstick-coated knob back in his pants. CRETIN. IDIOT. CHEATING SCUM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 162

Today, after he asked to hit it raw three days into talking, shit got a little messy, so he said he needed time to decide how he felt about me. So, he's ready to be a high school baby daddy before trying to be my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 552

The Top

Close but no cigar!

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 66

Today, I found out my best friend is having a full-blown affair with her coworker. She's a minor. He's not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 192

You deserved it 117

Today, the first day in nearly a year that I had completely to myself, I booked a spa day and a massage. Just after I arrived at the spa, the daycare center called. The baby had a fever and needed to be picked up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 468

You deserved it 315

Today, my cousins cropped me out of a picture of all six of us at a wedding, then captioned it, "We have such a good-looking family!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 930

You deserved it 272

Today, I opened the freezer for some Poptarts and a giant block of meat fell and broke my toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 983

You deserved it 6 857

Today, I was texting this cute guy that I like. After a couple of minutes I get a missed call from him, I call back and his girlfriend answers and says "Hi this is his girlfriend, please stop calling him". FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 167

You deserved it 31 102

Same thing different taste

Classic

Oh, hai Mark!

Awkward

Classic lineup

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