Intimacy: Liquored up

Liquored up

By OyGeeze28 - 09/08/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 971

You deserved it 3 133

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/01/2013 11:11 - Australia - Hurstville

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 344

You deserved it 2 256

Cash me?

By Anonymous - 02/09/2019 11:00 - Canada - Lakeville

Today, working in a liquor store, I had to tell a girl I couldn't sell her alcohol since she was severely intoxicated. She told me to "cash me ousside, how bow dat?" then smashed a bottle of wine and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 828

You deserved it 117

Casual perv

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 01:13 - United States

Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me, "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 475

You deserved it 6 034

By Anonymous - 07/09/2012 00:49 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was refused employment at a liquor store. Their reason? I'm a regular customer and they're afraid I'll drink all their profits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 424

You deserved it 21 377

By fuck you, dad - 27/09/2012 18:36 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 692

You deserved it 6 306

I'm not paid enough for this shit

By Bartender - 20/10/2014 21:04 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 514

You deserved it 2 638

By PerfectVision - 11/09/2014 06:49 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 067

You deserved it 3 248

By useless pos - 01/03/2013 00:48 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 274

You deserved it 12 352

By Cup_of___ - 26/11/2009 16:23 - United States

Today, I walked into a liquor store and thought about inquiring for a job application. After seeing the cashier, I thought about inquiring if she was single. After accidentally breaking three bottles of liquor, I didn't do either. I left the store, still single and unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 937

You deserved it 30 106

Receipe ideas

By Anonymous - 24/05/2022 16:00

Today, after I was surprised by my husband announcing he was coming off the drink and going to the gym to get in shape, I found out that I've been such a fool, as it turns out the pre-workout shakes he kept making contained about 5 shots of vodka, so he could drink at home without me moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 138

unluckiestperson_fml 14

Tuesday 9 August 2011 16:01

"Whiskey dick." Some images you just can't erase from your mind

Youtube00 5

Tuesday 9 August 2011 16:06

Whiskey dicks, always better than "Rum"-ginas

Comments

starwind3438 9

Tuesday 9 August 2011 17:35

I meant 7 was right the first time.

HelloNoora1 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 17:41

14 was kidding, to the one above me. He knew that 7(?) meant to say that but made a joke

otb113 7

Tuesday 9 August 2011 17:46

a simple reply of "welcome to the Liquor 8, you can go **** yourself. If you can even get up." would suffice

CryMoreFMLs 14

Tuesday 9 August 2011 18:03

Kay is my FML God, Boners is my FML saviour. Nothing blasphemous about that scentence.

portcaveman 5

Tuesday 9 August 2011 18:19

he sounds like he's a tool

megerz1113 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 18:27

Wow

megerz1113 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 18:30

Weird

paulinaluvsu 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 18:30

I deal with that shit to. I work at a liquor store myself. Sorry that happened to you

Thabb 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 18:42

iAmScrubs is the best commenter though.

Glitterhinoceros 14

Tuesday 9 August 2011 19:27

Umm, I have a lady-crush on Katrinakitten sometimes.

ecoffman 2

Tuesday 9 August 2011 19:27

-29 you spelled 'Nazi' wrong

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I agree, your life sucks 23 404

You deserved it 3 377

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I agree, your life sucks 29 238

You deserved it 30 442

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I agree, your life sucks 38 213

You deserved it 3 745

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I agree, your life sucks 7 785

You deserved it 42 586

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I agree, your life sucks 37 505

You deserved it 3 960