Kids: Kids will be kids

Kids will be kids

By monkey - 19/09/2013 10:30 - United States - Logan

Today, my daughter told me she is pregnant. The father is the foreign exchange student who just moved back to Germany. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 133

You deserved it 5 481

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Host grandfather - 21/09/2018 06:00 - United States - Tampa

Today, I took my transfer student, who I am hosting for her year of study in America, to the doctor. It turns out that she is pregnant, and my teenage son is the father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 640

You deserved it 646

You're Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone

By Lonely - 05/12/2020 07:58 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, my only daughter and her boyfriend sat me down for an important talk. I was thrilled, thinking they were engaged or pregnant. They actually wanted to tell me they're moving half way around the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 155

By Anonymous - 24/06/2015 03:16 - Canada - Ajax

Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 147

You deserved it 2 163

By xOdaatx - 26/09/2011 13:01 - Australia

Today, my fiancé told me his ex-wife was 5 weeks pregnant. I was happy for her, and glad she had finally moved on. Until I found out who the father was. They're moving back in together, for the baby's sake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 489

You deserved it 3 044

Moving on

By Awesome - 17/08/2011 00:05

Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 970

You deserved it 2 793

Sex Ed is a mess

By Anonymous - 21/10/2022 12:00

Today, my daughter told me that she’s pregnant with twins. It would be an exciting piece of news, except for the fact that she’s a sophomore in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 181

By Blöde Gans - 25/11/2014 16:14 - United States - Ormond Beach

Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 690

You deserved it 2 713

His stepdaughter, we hope

By Hetie - 17/10/2021 11:00

Today, my ex-husband got married to my daughter. She’s 18, a high school dropout, and pregnant with his child. She strongly believes she’ll have a bright future with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 633

You deserved it 140

Planned parenthood

By KittenTitz - 03/05/2020 20:00

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 750

You deserved it 619

Moving day, grandma

By Anonymous - 03/11/2020 14:05 - United States

Today, after my daughter fell in love with a city I didn't want to move to and I caved to make her happy, after a year of which she got engaged at the age of 18 and moved with her fiancé back to his hometown not far from where we moved from, she called to tell me she's pregnant and my first grandchild will be hundreds of miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 486

InfernoVivo 12

Thursday 19 September 2013 16:11

Das ist nicht gut!

Miss_Latina 13

Thursday 19 September 2013 16:11

Get in contact with him, let him know what's going on. Good luck.

Comments

alex_gen 38

Thursday 19 September 2013 23:12

This = Bad parenting.

nikolkaw 9

Thursday 19 September 2013 23:18

Viele Spaß lol

Metthew 15

Thursday 19 September 2013 23:34

Well, what else is to do than abort the mission?

aligater10 7

Thursday 19 September 2013 23:44

You didn't teach her to use protection?

sems_fml 5

Friday 20 September 2013 0:20

At least the child can have dual citizenship!

ulissey_fml 22

Friday 20 September 2013 0:34

You should have paid more attention to that Goethe feeling that something wrong was afoot...

raininginseattle 9

Friday 20 September 2013 1:00

If a stork brings babies, what bird prevents them? Why the swallow, of course.

ambitiousnygrl 17

Friday 20 September 2013 1:31

The US doesn't recognize duel citizenship

ChunkyBuiscuit 13

Friday 20 September 2013 1:37

Yea that's illegal fr an exchange student to do

Sinner7239 1

Friday 20 September 2013 2:11

your daughter sure loves her wienerschnitzel ;)

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The Top

Today, I came home to find my dad in my room, watching porn on my computer. When I asked him what he was doing, he closed the computer, stood up, stared at me awkwardly and then said, "You should really avoid those sites" and left my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 190

You deserved it 204

Today, yet another first date was a total waste of my time as he was yet another creep more interested in the experience of fucking a dwarf than he was in getting to know me as a person. I’m just gonna stay single forever. It’s not like I’ve always dreamed of marriage or anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 97

The Top

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 293

You deserved it 8 498

Today, my sister told me she is getting married and asked me to be the Co-Maid of Honor. Who is the first maid of honor? Her cat. She is serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 290

You deserved it 458

Today, I was pretending to be a veteran for the US Navy at a local outlet, because I was desperate for cheap stuff. All was going well, until an actual vet pointed out that the ship I had on my naval hat was a fictitious one. Shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 3 382

Today, I learned that my position will end in the next month. When I asked my boss about it, she told me I would have to reapply for the job to keep it. I have to pass another interview test for the job I've been working for the past 8 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 160

You deserved it 276

Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 239

You deserved it 4 584

Today, I was supposed to be let the bull out of the trailer and head straight home. Someone didn't latch the gate, so it just walked through between pastures. The bull and a cow went through, a horse broke into the cow lot, and another horse had a meltdown and wiped out in mud after trying to jump the fence. I don't like beef cattle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 157