Love, Health, Sex and Medication: Just you wait!

Just you wait!

By Anonymous - 07/08/2022 00:00

Today, after surgery on my penis, I’m on drugs to prevent erections. My girlfriend now thinks it’s hilarious to walk around naked, bend over in front of me, and do other sexy stuff, because she knows I can’t do anything to her and it’s killing me. In three weeks, her ass is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 236

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Same thing different taste

By b.fritz - 24/09/2016 10:02 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 748

You deserved it 1 181

So painful

By Anonymous - 30/01/2020 03:00

Today, my sister caught me bent over trying to trim my pubic hairs. She took a photo of my spread ass as a joke and scared me so bad, I cut my clitoris. Currently in hospital hopped up on the really good morphine for the excruciating pain. Oh, and the stitches, God, I can't forget the stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 561

You deserved it 435

By Chester (Seattle) - 09/09/2010 02:15 - United States

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 939

You deserved it 5 819

By Anonymous - 24/04/2016 12:46 - Switzerland - Chur

Today, my wife is treating me like I'm the devil, all because I refused to go on medication that'll kill my sex drive, just so she won't have to deal with me actually wanting to make love more than once a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 338

You deserved it 2 120

Newbie

By Anonymous - 25/11/2010 18:18 - Singapore

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 600

You deserved it 7 717

By Anonymous - 04/09/2017 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I slept naked after a great night together. I awoke to a sharp pain in my penis and found our cat trying a new scratching post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 130

You deserved it 474

Gimme the Vicodin

By Anonymous - 10/10/2018 17:30

Today, my mother-in-law flushed my pain medicine because she believes I’ve been using it too long and I’m addicted. I had surgery four days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 785

You deserved it 155

Comedian

By WoofWoof - 27/09/2020 14:01 - Pakistan - Islamabad

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that getting on all fours and barking at my penis for fun in the center of a mall is extremely inappropriate. She thinks otherwise, and promises to do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 404

You deserved it 416

Get well soon

By Anonymous - 07/02/2021 08:02

Today, I'm in hospital after having surgery for a broken leg. I’m maxed out on Endone and still in pain. Work have said that I’m on the roster next week and I’ll be fired if I’m not there. My wife said that she is going to have some "me time" for a few days when I get home from my "holiday". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 128

You deserved it 79

By gabbykinz13 - 08/03/2012 21:48 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 038

You deserved it 57 204

AzraelAngelus 15

Sunday 7 August 2022 1:18

I hope you mean that literally

Anderling 32

Sunday 7 August 2022 9:09

Dude, she is actively looking to impede your healing process after surgery for ***** and giggles. Kick her out NOW.

Comments

AzraelAngelus 15

Sunday 7 August 2022 1:18

I hope you mean that literally

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 7 August 2022 4:47

Why wait three weeks? You can toss her salad now.

slkeithh 14

Sunday 7 August 2022 7:09

"In three weeks, her ass is mine." For 30 seconds. Grow up and pleasure her without thinking of your own.

HayNow 11

Tuesday 9 August 2022 21:04

Oh take a joke and laugh sometimes...

Anderling 32

Sunday 7 August 2022 9:09

Dude, she is actively looking to impede your healing process after surgery for ***** and giggles. Kick her out NOW.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 13 August 2022 22:07

Yeah... not funny. If it's a genuine health risk/issue, she should not be doing anything that could hinder the healing process. Your final sentence was hysterical, though. I have to ask, did you mean that literally or figuratively? But just be careful she doesn't turn the tables and yell rape or something... some girls are vindictive that way.