Awkward and Intimacy: Juicy

Juicy

By Hum - 02/07/2011 21:50 - Switzerland

Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my roommates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 788

You deserved it 12 060

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Same thing different taste

By nullroute - 16/02/2016 11:34 - Switzerland

Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 139

You deserved it 2 805

Back home

By Anonymous - 30/12/2012 19:21 - Germany - Neunkirchen

Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 032

You deserved it 5 364

By Jules - 31/07/2017 05:00

Today, I bought a new cannister and it came with a label that said "Cookies" so I carefully scanned and photoshopped it to say "Coffee". Then I opened the cannister to find 11 double-sided bilingual labels -- including "Coffee". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 513

You deserved it 2 571

Bubbly

By traumatised - 15/06/2019 22:27

Today, I went to make my morning coffee as usual. When I opened the container for the coffee grounds, I saw it bubbling. Perplexed, I looked closer. This is how I discovered that maggots can actually bubble what they ingest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 075

You deserved it 280

By Anonymous - 01/10/2013 07:30 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 335

You deserved it 4 494

Delicious

By drchinky888 - 18/09/2016 17:10

Today, I was having dinner at my aunt's house who just migrated to Germany from India and doesn't know any German. I asked for the recipe of a dish and she said that she has been buying these cans with cute kitty picture and just adds spices to it. Cat food is delicious I must admit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 352

You deserved it 994

By Jan - 27/02/2013 04:50 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 278

You deserved it 4 320

By cullenthegreat - 25/08/2016 16:26 - United States - Villanova

Today, on my second morning at college, I tried to make coffee using my Keurig. I realized after I got back from my shower that I hadn't put a cup under the machine. All 3 drawers of my dresser are now filled with coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 060

You deserved it 8 460

By lucas_urev - 15/09/2014 22:19 - United States - Cold Spring Harbor

Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 750

You deserved it 7 129

Plooped

By ZombieMommy - 10/03/2017 05:00 - United States - Conroe

Today, I was pouring milk into my coffee and, as it plooped into my mug, I noticed the expiration date on the jug passed 2 weeks ago. Nobody here drinks milk very often and I ran out of creamer so I've been unknowingly drinking my coffee with curdled milk for the past 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 321

You deserved it 2 325

KingGeorgeGal 12

Sunday 3 July 2011 0:45

Well, I hope they put 'sahne' and not 'samen' in your coffee!

saIty 17

Sunday 3 July 2011 0:46

How funny would it be if one of them pulled down their pants, and started beating their ferret?

Comments

kduubb 7

Sunday 3 July 2011 1:00

funny(:

purpyolo 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 1:03

your retarded, it's semen, not samen.

ryanebk 7

Sunday 3 July 2011 1:16

you're retarded.

Doortje 29

Sunday 3 July 2011 1:22

No, YOU are retarded. Did you even read the FML?

that1kid82 2

Sunday 3 July 2011 1:39

I'm sorry.. but are you stupid? It's in German.. in case you didn't read the FML..

Nerry_fml 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 3:15

guys don't get mad at her. she's blonde..she can't help it =[

tweetbaby14 18

Sunday 3 July 2011 4:16

45, you're a dumbass, reread the FML...

jillianmathers12 13

Sunday 3 July 2011 5:56

lmfao

ninjaCarebear 17

Sunday 3 July 2011 9:13

you're retarded. they're speaking German. you put the dumb in dumb-blonde.

kittennn 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 12:11

YOU are the retard. How about actually reading before making a comment.

soulfulemo 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 12:33

hey hey, easy on her you guys. she's got that lost look in her eyes in her photo..she could just be legitimately stupid, no questions asked.

jbsington 8

Sunday 3 July 2011 16:07

I'm sorry, it seems to me that you didn't finish the sentence. "Your retarded"... what? Allow me to finish it for you. Is what you meant to say, "Your retarded dolphin looks like a thumb"?