Sex, Neighbours and Intimacy: Jogging is dangerous

Jogging is dangerous

By jumpedjogger - 14/09/2011 08:34 - United States

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 600

You deserved it 3 760

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Same thing different taste

Jog on

By Anonymous - 06/10/2021 10:59

Today, my husband told me that the only reason he took up jogging 4 years ago was because my mother moved in next door to us and he knew it would kill my sex drive. We haven’t had sex in 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 712

By Caught - 11/11/2010 13:34 - United States

Today, I was in the car hooking up with my boyfriend. He was on top of me when I noticed my neighbor jogging toward the car. Instead of hiding, I felt compelled to wave as he jogged past us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 681

You deserved it 43 164

By Anonymous - 16/02/2012 03:59 - United States

Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 279

You deserved it 2 898

By jitiizer - 19/09/2012 17:02 - Netherlands - Leeuwarden

Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 944

You deserved it 2 314

By katybaby - 09/12/2010 17:15 - United States

Today, my husband ran at me, groaning like a zombie. I was so startled that I screamed, punched him, and started sobbing. Now he won't talk to me because this is 'the first step on the road of domestic violence'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 340

You deserved it 11 686

By bet a woman would've been thanked - 07/05/2013 20:21 - United Kingdom - Redditch

Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 107

You deserved it 3 104

By Anonymous - 09/02/2015 14:53 - United States - Middleton

Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 919

You deserved it 3 362

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 703

You deserved it 3 646

By :(( - 25/04/2012 18:46 - United States - Saint Petersburg

Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 897

You deserved it 2 390

By inyobeddd - 02/05/2013 08:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 914

You deserved it 6 710

kayladance101 13

Wednesday 14 September 2011 16:06

Well if his wife wont have sex with him, maybe she'll do it with you! Give it a try :)

cooperd52 6

Wednesday 14 September 2011 16:07

That's assault. Why dont you report him?

Comments

bruslywrestler 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 23:18

that's assault. get him on tape doing it or next time just beat his ass. grow some balls

whited666 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 23:18

I must be slow, cause o don't get it :(

Lemark 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 23:27

Dude your life really ******* bites.

Hannahrayne 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 23:38

Hahhahaha life is amazing.

ArsenalFan12 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 23:39

man up and leave your house. you should have some swag.

Daddymo 14

Wednesday 14 September 2011 23:44

Set fire to his front door.

z3vil 11

Thursday 15 September 2011 0:23

You should file am assault charge and maybe see if this guy needs therapy for anger problems, I'm bettin he does

fugdeamania 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 0:30

seems like your inshape and he isn't... sooo y the hell r u scared of him? I don't believe you.

thiscrazything 1

Thursday 15 September 2011 1:04

Call the cops and report him. That is vicious.

GuitarGeek44 3

Thursday 15 September 2011 1:07

Call the cops. You did nothing wrong

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The Top

Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 049

You deserved it 4 457

Today, my 15 year-old son told me he had his first kiss. I told him how I was the same age when I had mine, and then I told him all kinds of wild stories about things I did in my childhood and college life. Truth is, I made them all up. I didn't get kissed till I was 24, and laid till I was 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 944

You deserved it 14 033

The Top

Today, I was babysitting for a new family. The youngest said, "Wow! You have huge nostrils!" She noticed my offended look and pushed her nose up like a pig's, saying, "It’s okay! Now I do too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 226

Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my #1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 007

You deserved it 6 090

Today, I told my cousin I was admitted to a top MBA program. He asked if it was an online-only certificate program. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 252

You deserved it 187

Today, my husband sped my car up to 80 in a 30, and almost crashed, which would have killed us both. What did I do to set him off? I played a song he didn't like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 035

You deserved it 152

Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 78

Today, my house was broken into. The cop that came turned out to be a guy I fought over a girl with in high school. He sneered and said that everything appeared to be in order, and that I probably ransacked my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 378

You deserved it 9 054

Jogging is dangerous

Same thing different taste

Jog on

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