Dogs and Animals: It hurts when I pee - FML

It hurts when I pee

By yomamma787 - 24/11/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 893

You deserved it 54 445

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 31/08/2014 17:51 - United States

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 511

You deserved it 3 862

Shout the victory

By dogpatch087 - 02/01/2020 03:00 - United States - Ventura

Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 500

By Anon - 24/03/2012 02:42 - United States

Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 408

You deserved it 32 284

By thanksdad - 16/03/2014 19:28 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 814

You deserved it 6 278

By Username - 15/07/2011 19:51 - United States

Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 198

You deserved it 7 943

By Anonymous - 29/02/2012 16:52 - United States

Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 407

You deserved it 32 981

By mraow123 - 30/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 387

You deserved it 4 658

By Broderick - 26/03/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 069

You deserved it 6 960

By Chandler - 16/09/2011 19:26 - United States

Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 841

You deserved it 2 936

By Koko - 07/04/2016 16:07 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my dog was so happy to see me that he laid down on his back and started pissing like a fountain. He pissed on everything around him, including me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 777

You deserved it 1 925

Next

Top comments

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Tuesday 24 November 2009 20:04

What a prick.

Stumblebum30 5

Tuesday 24 November 2009 20:24

do you think the world is your toilet? dumb ass

Comments

GirlyTomBoy 0

Monday 21 March 2011 22:54

question is...why r u peeing on a cactus

Tahu424 0

Monday 4 April 2011 6:51

My only question is, why in the HELL were you taking a piss on a cactus?!

irokyoursox 6

Saturday 9 April 2011 8:00

officially my favorite FML

ariestiger15 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 21:40

ur an idiot for peeing on a cactus! karma

mattrick 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 16:29

Oh my god will people seriously stop asking "omg, like, why were you peeing on a cactus?!" Are you all that stupid? You pee on trees and bushes if you happen to live near them, so why on earth is this so different for someone who lives in a desert??? Use your effing brain for 2 seconds next time before you type something.

PlasmaVirus 4

Friday 17 June 2011 9:09

Actually, I prefer the toilet. My house comes with one, luckily.

HannahGoose14 0

Sunday 8 May 2011 4:49

First question: Why were you peeing on a catcus?

JoeTheBow 8

Sunday 12 June 2011 21:17

You just made my day.

Fakeddd 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 13:46

I pee on trains.

beginnersluck 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 18:00

Why, oh why, were you peeing on a cactus?

NextBigThing5044 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 7:57

Dont mess with mother nature bitch.

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I agree, your life sucks 42 117

You deserved it 6 794

Today, I deleted my account on social media and changed my name, all because I posted something hilariously inappropriate, and everybody laughed except one lady. My followers savagely jumped to my defense against this "one lady". I had to tell people to stop roasting my grandma. FML

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