Alcohol, Ironic and Health: I need one - FML

I need one

By j…… - 14/08/2011 03:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 613

You deserved it 56 911

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Same thing different taste

By Reeen - 03/06/2016 22:29 - United States - Pittsboro

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text, right after I finished cleaning his apartment and dropping off a bunch of booze I bought for a big party we were having. It turns out that big party was his "newly single" party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 681

You deserved it 1 234

By sober - 10/07/2012 03:40 - United States - Hillsborough

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 053

You deserved it 3 414

By Drunkard - 08/02/2017 00:54 - United States - Tracy

Today, my boyfriend gave me grief about my drinking. This would be fine, if he were sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 111

You deserved it 792

The Phone Call

By turnmyphoneoff - 24/09/2019 00:01

Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 946

You deserved it 211

By whoababy55 - 21/08/2009 17:07 - United States

Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 440

You deserved it 2 666

On the sauce

By drinkdrankdrunk - 27/09/2013 07:33 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 251

You deserved it 17 911

By drunkboysgf - 21/10/2011 07:39 - Canada

Today, I had to get my boyfriend's mom to help me get my boyfriend in his house because he was so drunk. He broke up with me for getting him in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 606

You deserved it 5 213

TW: The final straw

By Anonymous - 04/12/2021 19:58

Today, I broke up with my long-term boyfriend, because his alcohol problem is so bad that he drank his way through an old bottle of Tequila, which belonged to my mum, and that I'd kept after she committed suicide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 302

You deserved it 109

Driven to drink

By Anonymous - 23/07/2023 15:00

Today, I caught my boyfriend trying to dispose of several empty alcohol bottles, leading to a discussion how dating me and putting up with my insanity has given him a drinking problem just so he can get through the day. Me catching him seemed to be the wake up call he needed, because he dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 863

By me - 18/05/2011 04:13

Today, my boyfriend of nearly 4 years, with whom I have a baby, broke up with me. His reason? His best friend said he didn't like drinking with guys who were "tied down". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 913

You deserved it 6 257

Next

Top comments

F0xyTurtle 8

Sunday 14 August 2011 8:52

So maybe you should try to fix your drinking problem...

Jaimegirl 7

Sunday 14 August 2011 9:30

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me due to my abusing animals, my reaction? I punted a kitten off a cliff.

Comments

teletuby 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 17:57

I would have done the same

sickkmalibu 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 17:59

I do the same thing it helps :D

sexy_geek 5

Sunday 14 August 2011 18:16

You have a problem...get help

buddmoney 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 18:31

Try marijuana it smells better

atills 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 18:35

Cut back! There's nothing wrong with having alcohol once in awhile! If you drank less, pouring yourself a glass after your boyfriend broke up with you it would be fine :)

baysxfinest 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 18:47

my life.

muzzr11 4

Sunday 14 August 2011 19:50

Aww that's not good!

49thdevil 7

Sunday 14 August 2011 18:51

you only have a problem if when you wake up and the first thing you grab is a cold one

Lonelygirlinlove 6

Sunday 14 August 2011 19:40

I would so pour me one too!

alyssaenglish27 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 22:04

i think u need some rehab

58s 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 22:49

Good reasoning have a drink it will make it better

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Keywords

Mental health OCD Health Relatable Work Awkward Boredom Friends Vacation Transportation Annoying Music AITA Jewelry Love Cars Embarrassing Kids Family Babysitter Parents Miscellaneous Death Thief Money Food Birthday Gross Farts Underwear

The Top

Today, I went to a Bat Mitzvah. We played a game where all of the girls grabbed one of their shoes and placed it in the middle. Then, all of the guys had to pick a shoe. Whatever guy picked the shoe, the girl had to dance with. No one picked my shoe. Everyone else was dancing except for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 437

You deserved it 5 100

Today, I found out my parents only got pregnant with me because they were desperate for a bone marrow match for my brother, who ended up dying before I was born, and who I had no idea existed. What’s even more messed up is that they gave me his name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 71

The Top

Today, I realized what an immature child my mother is, and has always been. Even though she’s past middle aged, she still screenshots social media posts to laugh and make fun of people she went to high school with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 110

Today, I dropped my 7-year-old son off at school. He decided to have fun and step out of my car screaming "Stranger danger" while running away and pointing at me. I then had to get out of my car to shut the door he'd left wide open. This caused 20 other kids to scream "Stranger danger" as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 337

You deserved it 3 050

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 324

You deserved it 36 279

Today, my friends and I rented a party bus, which broke down on the highway 45 minutes into the ride. I paid the guy for the whole four hours. He said he was going to flag down a car to get someone to help us. We saw him get into a car and leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 155

You deserved it 3 566

Today, my dad got into an argument with the cashier about how overpriced the scented tampons were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 489

You deserved it 2 824

Today, I finally said yes to a date with a guy. I was hesistant due to him being quite a bit younger than me. On our date, he dabbed 27 times. Yes, I actually kept count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 544

You deserved it 1 138