Sex, Gamers and Intimacy: Headshot! - FML

Headshot!

By Amb - 01/06/2010 23:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized my boyfriend makes the same noises in bed as he does when he's winning in Call of Duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 062

You deserved it 6 197

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

What a Q-tip

By Anonymous - 25/06/2013 16:21 - United States - Flowery Branch

Spicy

Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 540

You deserved it 6 485

By Noname - 16/02/2009 00:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 038

You deserved it 10 596

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 10:24 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Spicy

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 245

You deserved it 32 722

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 374

You deserved it 5 765

A good grunting

By Anonymous - 06/01/2013 13:06 - United States - Tampa

Spicy

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 258

You deserved it 4 076

By atleasthelistened - 09/03/2016 08:04 - United States - Spokane

Today, I discovered my boyfriend listens way better in his sleep than he does when he's awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 539

You deserved it 2 447

By Hannah - 21/12/2010 17:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband said that when we have sex he almost gets as excited as he does when he gets a chopper gunner on Black Ops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 053

You deserved it 7 906

By The_Life - 12/10/2016 13:26 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and things were getting heated when he got a call from one of his mates wanting to play Counter Strike. Next thing I know, I'm laying in bed by myself listening to him rage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 057

You deserved it 1 274

By Helseac - 17/12/2018 03:00

Spicy

Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 739

You deserved it 440

Heated gaming moment

By Anonymous - 26/11/2014 19:41 - United States - Los Angeles

Spicy

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 124

You deserved it 6 794

Next

Top comments

shakenbake93 0

Wednesday 2 June 2010 12:10

There's really no difference between the two so I don't see why you care that much.

Ducati4623 0

Thursday 3 June 2010 1:46

so he shouts "**** off you 8 year old little camping noob tubing prick" in bed? - that's pretty weird or winning would be more like "**** off I'm 1 off harriers" - again kinda strange I guess

Comments

Kheelz 3

Thursday 14 October 2010 4:25

It okayy my boyfriend says he would rather live without sex for a year rather than halo. I ask him if im bad in bed he says hell no but i just like halo better. P.S. I Freaking Looove COD!!!

Grissom26 0

Friday 5 November 2010 15:17

Does he yell out "FIRE IN THE HOLE"

blahblahduncare 0

Thursday 18 November 2010 4:21

Cuz he knows he has a high score?

AceArctic 4

Friday 10 December 2010 20:04

So do I... Cold silence. *looks around shiftily*

secretvampire13 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 5:23

has anyone else noticed how ALOT of fmls seem to concern cod? if all cod games were completely destroyed, all the girls of the world would rejoice

kathrynclw 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 3:46

hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! :D

lunkness_monster 0

Monday 21 March 2011 13:23

You should feel super special.. You know he's winning something! :D

Insomniaddict 0

Monday 25 April 2011 5:43

Does he teabag you as well?

kerpwnd 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 8:12

I'm honestly not sure if that's a bad thing.

juliabrookss 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 19:45

at least it's not the same noises as when he loses. :P be thankful he loves you that much.

6
7
8
9
10
11

Keywords

Art Kids Birthday Covid Health Relatable Transportation Awkward Cars Love Poopoo peepee Gross Family Neighbours Sex Intimacy Lonely Dreams Management Work Jealousy Mental health Relationship advice Friends Miscellaneous Abuse Parents Healthy Lifestyle Food Ironic

The Top

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 028

You deserved it 5 457

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation, to find my fiance had cleaned the house top to bottom, and finished three projects he was constantly putting off. I was over the moon, until he said, "Yeah, when you're not nagging me all day, I can actually get shit done. Crazy, huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 680

The Top

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 452

You deserved it 7 988

Today, I woke up and every single one of my friends, coworkers, and even my own family members have decided they all hate me, for no apparent reason. Several of them have even told me to kill myself. I have no idea what I did wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130

You deserved it 223

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 276

You deserved it 18 997

Today, my trunk froze shut with my Christmas presents inside. Since it was still shut, I went to the store. When I came out, some ice had melted and the trunk had popped open. All of my gifts were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 820

You deserved it 5 338

Today, my mom got mad at me. She told me that the neighbor was stupid for letting their kids play all over the street alone. I said it was fine, because the mom walked right next to the daughter as she played on her scooter. She argued, “Why do you always have to disagree with me?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 112

Today, while out shopping, my fiancé started talking to a cashier in a flirty manner as if I wasn't there, and casually referred to me as his housemate. I felt my heart break, but I'm too weak to bring it up with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 063

You deserved it 637