Thief and Money: Hard times - FML

Hard times

By psychopumpkin - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Boston

Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 661

You deserved it 7 458

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Broke boyz

By ohno - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paperclip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 741

You deserved it 5 562

Prank protip

By Ca13b - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 457

You deserved it 4 012

Close encounters

By Pinkie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 281

You deserved it 2 715

Thanks for the info

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 843

You deserved it 611

Broke boy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 448

You deserved it 3 860

By kb - 18/11/2013 06:38 - United States

Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 673

You deserved it 4 042

Never enough

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 195

You deserved it 3 934

Surprising

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 104

You deserved it 311

The smell test

By sosadstudent - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 098

You deserved it 4 449

Stinky pits

By shakinmahbuttbutt - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 851

You deserved it 4 554

Next

Top comments

bornaunicorn 12

Monday 13 May 2013 19:58

Moms will always "spare a square".

cmayer 20

Monday 13 May 2013 20:16

Sometimes you get pets before you fall on hard times.

Comments

bocefus 6

Monday 13 May 2013 20:08

Stealing from your mom makes you a scumbag. Try getting a job

paigexox0 37

Monday 13 May 2013 21:59

...you used stuff from your parents house all of your childhood does that make everyone a scumbag?

MsMourningStar 22

Tuesday 14 May 2013 21:37

Maybe they have a job but are on a really tight budget. It happens, money is scarce.

Ambiguous404 6

Monday 13 May 2013 20:08

What a shity situation you are in!

gurly98 13

Monday 13 May 2013 23:23

No... Just no.

ilovedinosawers 17

Tuesday 14 May 2013 1:51

We'll let you off easy.. This time.

chris_42 11

Monday 13 May 2013 20:08

Don't be such an ass-wipe to your mother.

CaptMurdock 25

Monday 13 May 2013 20:13

You gotta do what you gotta do. Maybe next time just ask your mom to help you out a bit?

99megster 15

Monday 13 May 2013 20:22

Not sure why you had to smuggle it, couldn't you have just asked? I'm sure she would have understood. Unless, of course, you have parents like the ones we read about on FML.

SirTalkaton 22

Monday 13 May 2013 20:32

I know that feel OP.

lb0812 18

Monday 13 May 2013 20:45

Lol I didn't know this was so bad. I'm a broke college student and I do my grocery shopping in my parent's pantry.

bettyboop428 24

Tuesday 14 May 2013 0:05

Me too. My grandmother lives with my parents so they have plenty of help, so my little brother and I both shop at our parents house before going to the store. It's great because even though we can mostly afford to shop for ourselves, it's nice to know we have that little bit extra for our family.

TheWorldGreatest 8

Monday 13 May 2013 20:51

Get a job and stop using people for your needs !

squideth 18

Tuesday 14 May 2013 11:42

Yeah cuz no one is EVER broke if they have a job, right?

perdix 29

Monday 13 May 2013 20:52

Who is stupid enough to accept toilet paper as currency? Cottonelle kinda has the texture of money, but it's too wide to confused with a bill.

perdix 29

Monday 13 May 2013 21:05

I'm guessing that your savings have been . . . *lowers sunglasses* wiped out.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Weird Shopping My ex Awkward Relatable Family Racism Love AITA Kids Cheating Work Break-ups Cats Cute Animals Intimacy Sex Relationship advice Coworkers Alcohol Psychology Health Mental health Neighbours Cops Parents Scary Stressed out

The Top

Today, after a very long, nasty custody battle with his ex, my boyfriend’s kids were finally scheduled to spend the night at our house. Today is also the day my daughter came home with a note from school about the massive lice outbreak on campus. Yup she has it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 103

Today, as my date and I were climbing into bed, she casually mentioned she’s never had an anonymous one night stand before. We work in the same office; that’s where we met. Apparently, I was always under her radar, and she assumed I was a customer instead of her coworker of two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 550

You deserved it 222

The Top

Today, my daughter got upset because, even though I bought the car for her when she got her license, I told her it was her responsibility to pay the tax, insurance and MOT every year. End result, my daughter is a selfish brat and I returned the car, but lost a bunch of my deposit money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 378

Today, while checking my voicemail, I noticed I had received one from a job that I've been trying to get in for months. Too bad they called two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 924

You deserved it 8 815

Today, I became a grandmother. At 44 years-old. My son is 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 293

Today, I took my Spanish exam. One of the questions was to translate "Mark is lazy and antisocial." My name is Mark. Everyone kept giving me weird looks the whole test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 119

You deserved it 2 786

Today, I found out how it feels to have a car door slammed shut on my hand, breaking two of my fingers. Hint: it's fucking painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 163

You deserved it 2 036

Today, I received a marriage proposal at work from a 70 year-old man, covered in dirt from head to toe, who offered to be my "sugar daddy." I guess I have options after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 447

You deserved it 3 115