Intimacy: Happy place

Happy place

By HansonLUVR - 12/03/2009 00:26 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 237

You deserved it 79 211

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Same thing different taste

By killmyself - 23/01/2009 19:50 - United States

Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 358

You deserved it 47 177

By oneloveliz - 17/09/2017 23:15

Today, I was watching my dog via security camera live feed, when my roommate came in completely naked to make breakfast for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 462

You deserved it 1 566

Right place, wrong time

By Anonymous - 22/01/2009 16:09 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says, "What's for dinner?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 209

You deserved it 29 823

By adam - 03/02/2010 20:10 - France

Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 083

You deserved it 40 654

By stellarshaun - 16/01/2009 22:10 - United States

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 260

You deserved it 10 896

Wipe time

By brad - 16/04/2024 11:00 - United States

Today, I came home and walked into my living room to see my roommate passed out naked, porn autoplaying on the living room TV, a killed 12-case of beer, and dried jizz all over the couch from God knows how many loads. “I thought you were coming home tomorrow,” he said. At least the sofa is leather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 96

By mrmr - 07/02/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower and the glass sliding door was jammed. I tugged it, and it shattered all over me. I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 531

You deserved it 3 022

By Jonnygiant - 14/03/2009 01:45 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower after basketball practice. When I got out of the shower I thought no one was home so I thought it might be fun to walk around the house completely naked. I walk downstairs and my mom was eating dinner. Along with 20 other members of her bookclub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 266

You deserved it 70 097

By tapeissticky591 - 14/07/2012 05:49 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I woke up naked, duck-taped to the wall, with no memory of last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 905

You deserved it 36 502

About last night…

By Anonymous - 28/11/2020 20:08

Today, I woke up on the couch in front of the television covered with a blanket. Last night, I'd come home pissed from the pub, fired up porn, got my pants off and settled down for a wank. However, this morning the telly was off, my trousers were on, and I don't remember a blanket. I live with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 1 981

Tenantry 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 9:36

I never new that many people eat food naked till I started reading FML.

waywardson 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 9:57

Who watches **** on a bar stool?

Comments

Tri_fml 5

Thursday 12 March 2009 22:50

People who don't get it have obviously never lived on their own. Eating lunch naked is the best, and the **** just tops it off. Not sure I'd do it if I had a room mate though :s

salaamthebody 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 23:56

fake

Anony_fml 0

Friday 13 March 2009 1:56

Were you trying to make your own salad dressing?

hippies_rule 0

Friday 13 March 2009 2:11

omg this FML and the first two comments made me laugh so much.

rpsls 0

Friday 13 March 2009 5:23

I Laughed so ******* hard at this! OMG But if you're a guy, and you're roommates a guy, I'm gonna guess that they've done the same thing before so they probably understood...

Trini_Psycho 0

Friday 13 March 2009 7:00

lmfao #35 is funny as hell, lol so ur roommate walked in to see **** on the TV, he looked down and saw you naked spread out on the floor boner in full glory with food in hand and dick in the other hahahahaahhaha