Sex, Vacation and Awkward: Happy anniversary! - FML

Happy anniversary!

By Anonymous - 20/06/2023 17:00 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Spicy

Today, our anniversary, is a disaster. The restaurant gave away our table, even though we were early, and the hotel we’d booked for three nights had a burst pipe, so we had to sleep in the only other hotel, which was so seedy the deskman openly assumed we were two cheaters meeting for a quick fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 119

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Your love is cancelled

By Anonymous - 05/04/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, and for the past few weeks, I've been dating a new guy. Things were going well, we had planned a romantic weekend getaway, but when we got to the hotel, we found out that our reservation had been cancelled. The hotel was fully booked, and we had to spend the night in separate rooms at a sketchy motel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 142

Soliciting

By Xena - 25/08/2017 04:30

Today, I was at our hotel waiting for my husband to finish his shower so we could have our anniversary dinner, when hotel security forcefully removed me from the building because they do not allow "prostitutes" to look for clients on their property. They thought I was a hooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 906

You deserved it 660

By snarly1 - 03/01/2012 08:14 - United States

Today, it was our one year anniversary. After a surprise re-creation of our first date, we went home, in the mood for love. The food poisoning from the restaurant had a different idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 844

You deserved it 2 493

Date night

By Anonymous - 10/01/2023 02:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I booked a restaurant and nice hotel for date night. We only get a few hours away from our baby, so we may as well squeeze in sexy time! I told my husband and he was more worried about the awkward early check out than excited for the sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033

You deserved it 241

By perfect - 04/02/2013 20:47 - Canada - Whitby

Today, my boyfriend and I arrived at our pre-paid hotel for a romantic evening. When we went to sign in, they had no reservation for us, however they did yesterday. The payment is non-refundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 827

You deserved it 6 069

By turriblebday - 17/12/2009 15:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner. While at the restaurant, she went to the bathroom. She was then escorted out of the restaurant for having sex in said bathroom. I was sitting at our booth the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 952

You deserved it 2 596

What happens in Vegas…

By Anonymous - 06/06/2022 14:00

Today, I got a hotel room for myself and 4 friends to have a great night out in town. The couple of the group had a huge argument, ruining the evening, then another friend took of in the middle of the night, and to top it off we all ended up catching Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 321

By Anonymous - 26/11/2012 05:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 409

You deserved it 3 712

Where do we go now?

By Anonymous - 10/02/2024 03:00

Today, while vacationing in Mexico, the Airbnb we were supposed to check into today for 3 weeks just called to say that due to a broken water pipe, they're unable to host us. We're supposed to check out of our current stay in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 105

By Anonymous - 19/07/2013 16:41 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 430

You deserved it 4 323

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 20 June 2023 20:49

Why should you care what a deskman assumes?

Hangryko 29

Tuesday 20 June 2023 21:07

Why didn't you go home at that point?

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 20 June 2023 20:49

Why should you care what a deskman assumes?

Hangryko 29

Tuesday 20 June 2023 21:07

Why didn't you go home at that point?

BurnInDemonFire 33

Tuesday 20 June 2023 23:09

You know your hotel is shit when they have a deskman instead of a concierge. Unless Deskman is a superhero.

sch00ln3rd 8

Wednesday 21 June 2023 5:55

I genuinely don’t think so. The craziest stories are the best memories to look back on and laugh.

JasonThorn 19

Wednesday 21 June 2023 15:45

...and write reviews on every travel site telling the truth about those establishments.

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Family Fight Love Work Relatable Students Noise Animals Birds Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Cheating Teenagers Friends Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Revenge Boredom

The Top

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 166

You deserved it 270

Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 119

The Top

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 473

You deserved it 3 252

Today, after selling things on eBay all week to afford a nice weekend with my husband and kids, my car died. Now we have to spend the money on a battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 650

You deserved it 333

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 072

You deserved it 23 775

Today, I was at the bakery I work at. A man came in to pick up a cake he said he ordered, but we could find neither the cake nor the order form. He yelled at me about being 'incompetent' before remembering that he had ordered the cake from a different bakery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 111

You deserved it 2 997

Today, my dad was in town for a day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dad's slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. In total, we talked for 15 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 007

You deserved it 4 185

Today, I got chased, threatened and assaulted by a cab driver because I wouldn't take the credit card receipt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 023

You deserved it 7 010