Health, Fight and Public freakouts: Get outta here

Get outta here

By JMcKay - 26/01/2012 03:36 - Australia

Today, I found out that if a jock calls you a nerd in the street and you retaliate with a witty comeback, be prepared to run. Fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 092

You deserved it 6 141

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Same thing different taste

Run!

By Anonymous - 05/11/2011 01:21 - United States

Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 805

You deserved it 37 573

MMA FML

By ThatEndedWell - 07/01/2019 22:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 4 593

By stick - 20/10/2009 16:05 - United States

Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 342

You deserved it 171 956

By Anonymous - 16/02/2012 03:59 - United States

Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 279

You deserved it 2 898

By Jimmy - 02/08/2019 12:00 - Australia

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 437

You deserved it 133

By Jif_Creamy - 28/02/2016 05:00 - United States - Washington

Today, at my college, someone snatched my laptop out of my hands, so I chased him. Turns out I'm so overweight and slow that he moonwalked away facing me, while I sprinted my heart out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 887

You deserved it 7 154

By Anonymous - 29/04/2016 17:59 - United States

Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 134

You deserved it 2 258

By Out Ran - 16/02/2010 06:32 - United States

Today, while running, I sped up to show off for a cute female runner I'd seen before up ahead. I passed her and not more than a minute later she sprints past me. I couldn't catch up. She not only out ran me, but waited to tell me it was a 'nice try'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 844

You deserved it 34 947

Captain Badass

By NotAsToughAsHeThinks - 14/02/2011 03:25 - United States

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 160

You deserved it 54 028

Badass

By batter--up - 17/02/2010 02:54 - United States

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 708

You deserved it 2 697

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

Thursday 26 January 2012 8:52

Stand your ground. Everyone knows a jock can't see you if you don't move.

akallaan 7

Thursday 26 January 2012 8:55

So you then joined the track team, had brains and bronze, and stole the head cheerleader from him? Like a boss?

Comments

jimmyjamesyall 4

Thursday 26 January 2012 23:33

What year is this? Who in the world uses the word "nerd" sincerely? When you get out of 1992 it'll get better.

barbie_9941 13

Thursday 26 January 2012 23:37

obviously you're not a nerd if you don't understand basic grammatical structure... and indirect statement shouldn't be followed by an imperative.

Krulin 8

Friday 27 January 2012 2:04

Get a ******* life. Jesus Christ.

JayeMei13 0

Friday 27 January 2012 14:23

He never said he was a nerd, he was simply relaying what someone called him. Dick. ****.

JayeMei13 0

Friday 27 January 2012 14:26

Also you should have said 'an' not 'and' after your dotdotdot, just by the way.

golconda2011 8

Thursday 26 January 2012 23:51

Do not run away that will only damage your self esteem.stand up a face them! Maybe bring a pepper spray...

richboii 0

Friday 27 January 2012 0:45

the only guys who carry pepper spray are *******

laundryninja 1

Friday 27 January 2012 1:03

kick his ass!

UrAverageBrat 10

Friday 27 January 2012 3:23

Ummm, DUHH!

bballforward33 10

Friday 27 January 2012 3:59

U shouldnt be allowed to talk

biglittlehead 12

Friday 27 January 2012 4:17

I am a nerd and a jock, does that mean I should beat myself up?

nite66 21

Friday 27 January 2012 4:26

What was the comeback? I need that!

LTaylor550 1

Friday 27 January 2012 4:46

Then you join track team, win a metal, and kick his butt. Happily ever after! :D

SheWentToJereds 0

Friday 27 January 2012 5:38

Jocks VS nerds still goes on? I figured that was an old 50-60's stereotype

sprinklez0601 8

Sunday 26 June 2016 5:03

nope people keep bringing it back and it goes on and on

Keywords

Annoying Music Boredom Transportation Awkward Cars Embarrassing Family Babysitter Relatable Kids Thief Money Miscellaneous Food Gross Farts Health Depression Mental health Weird Creepy AITA Pregnancy Star Wars Social Media Facebook Wanker Work Bodyshaming

The Top

Today, I found out I have syphilis. I only slept with one person in my entire life, my boyfriend of 2 years. When I told him about it, he burst into tears and said, "It was one time at a company party" and "Maybe if you put some Vagisil or something, it will go away." Seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 918

You deserved it 137

Today, I sent a forward to the ladies at my office. When I scrolled down I noticed my personal emails from my best friend were attached. They go into great detail about the sex I had last night, when I was planning on dumping my boyfriend, and that I suspected I had an anal fissure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 739

You deserved it 61 297

The Top

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 916

You deserved it 30 862

Today, my partner was sent 450 miles away by the army, after he had been home for only 22 hours. Yesterday they told him he could come home for 2 weeks. I guess the British army doesn't want me to be happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 159

Today, I made some brownies to take over to my dad's place for his party. He started yelling at me when I told him I'd added a special ingredient for taste, demanding to know what I had slipped them. Cinnamon. It was cinnamon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 486

You deserved it 3 313

Today, I was scheduled to work even though I'd booked the day off months in advance to take an important exam. Two weeks ago, I informed my manager and he said he found a replacement for me. An hour ago, my manager angrily called asking why I didn't show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 811

You deserved it 130

Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 512

You deserved it 545

Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 087

You deserved it 9 507