Health, Embarrassing, Medication and Work: Gassed up

Gassed up

By Tootie - 30/07/2011 06:58 - United States

Today, I have to take medicine that gives me painful, violent farts. Tomorrow, I have to either get fired or go work in an office that's dead silent. How silent? Last week I heard my coworker drop a paperclip, three desks away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 943

You deserved it 3 542

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/08/2014 21:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 958

You deserved it 11 813

The unexpected

By RikkiTikkiTavi - 12/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was working at my desk and wearing my new noise cancelling headphones. I couldn’t hear anyone around me, so I let out a nice long fart. Every desk behind me was occupied and the fart was not silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 3 624

Gas wars

By Anonymous - 17/05/2021 15:59 - United States

Today, a co-worker has the office next to mine. The walls are not soundproofed. I can hear him farting loudly throughout the day. He spread a rumor around the office that he can hear me farting all day. Another coworker told me and gave me advice on foods not to eat, that gave people bad gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 74

By Anonymous - 18/10/2012 06:33 - Canada - Toronto

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 717

You deserved it 2 480

By pleasestop - 11/06/2011 08:48 - Australia

Today, I woke up with bowel problems which have been causing me to violently pass wind every couple of minutes. I have to spend the next two hours sitting an exam in dead silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 195

You deserved it 3 420

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 473

You deserved it 609

By avoid the sour cream - 30/12/2012 06:14 - United States

Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 692

You deserved it 2 830

By Mic - 07/01/2010 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 532

You deserved it 4 639

Pissed

By Anonymous - 19/11/2023 03:00 - Cayman Islands - George Town

Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 323

By Iknoweverything - 22/12/2012 08:06 - United States - Mankato

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 747

You deserved it 3 209

YacL 15

Saturday 30 July 2011 16:18

Drop another paperclip to mask the sound?

DrewsFML 8

Saturday 30 July 2011 16:22

Sit in your office chair in the aisle and let your gas propel you through the maze of cubicles. if you're going to get fired, you may as well do it in style.

Comments

wilito92 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 16:46

i would get a pillow... been there done that... the pillow kinda absorbs the bad smell too :P

greenbox 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 16:48

perhaps take a sick day? since you are sick...

xoxo_Becky_xoxo 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 16:52

Well...depending on what the medicine's for t you

xoxo_Becky_xoxo 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 16:52

Well...depending on what the medicine's for couldn't you just take it when you get home?

inthemillions 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 16:53

Why would you have to get fired? Why don't you just call in sick?

Flutist 3

Saturday 30 July 2011 22:07

Maybe because they used all their sick days on trivial things.

UnicornHunter 12

Saturday 30 July 2011 22:26

Agreed.

nentenkupo 16

Sunday 7 January 2018 7:38

Or maybe they used all their sick days on actually being sick?

sexypimpdaddy 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 16:53

I don't think farts are supposed to be painful... :D

emmalovesbieber 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 16:54

haha 26 and 27! anyway... that sucks sorry OP

krish7 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 16:55

Cough when ever you have to fart lol

howslife123 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 19:21

or open and close the desk drawers really loudly

Fudgeblocks 2

Monday 1 August 2011 8:26

Or be like Peter Griffin and just talk some random stuff when you fart.

JennWoo 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 6:28

Can you take a few Beano pills? They're meant to de-gas you when eating beans, broccoli, etc. but maybe they can de-gas you from meds? They'll work or they won't but they won't cause harm, I expect. Good luck, and I hope you don't end up being called "thunder tush" at work.