Health, Embarrassing, Medication and Work: Gassed up

Gassed up

By Tootie - 30/07/2011 06:58 - United States

Today, I have to take medicine that gives me painful, violent farts. Tomorrow, I have to either get fired or go work in an office that's dead silent. How silent? Last week I heard my coworker drop a paperclip, three desks away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 943

You deserved it 3 542

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/08/2014 21:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 958

You deserved it 11 813

The unexpected

By RikkiTikkiTavi - 12/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was working at my desk and wearing my new noise cancelling headphones. I couldn’t hear anyone around me, so I let out a nice long fart. Every desk behind me was occupied and the fart was not silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 3 624

Gas wars

By Anonymous - 17/05/2021 15:59 - United States

Today, a co-worker has the office next to mine. The walls are not soundproofed. I can hear him farting loudly throughout the day. He spread a rumor around the office that he can hear me farting all day. Another coworker told me and gave me advice on foods not to eat, that gave people bad gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 74

By Anonymous - 18/10/2012 06:33 - Canada - Toronto

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 717

You deserved it 2 480

By pleasestop - 11/06/2011 08:48 - Australia

Today, I woke up with bowel problems which have been causing me to violently pass wind every couple of minutes. I have to spend the next two hours sitting an exam in dead silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 195

You deserved it 3 420

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 473

You deserved it 609

By avoid the sour cream - 30/12/2012 06:14 - United States

Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 692

You deserved it 2 830

By Mic - 07/01/2010 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 532

You deserved it 4 639

Pissed

By Anonymous - 19/11/2023 03:00 - Cayman Islands - George Town

Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 323

By Iknoweverything - 22/12/2012 08:06 - United States - Mankato

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 747

You deserved it 3 209

YacL 15

Saturday 30 July 2011 16:18

Drop another paperclip to mask the sound?

DrewsFML 8

Saturday 30 July 2011 16:22

Sit in your office chair in the aisle and let your gas propel you through the maze of cubicles. if you're going to get fired, you may as well do it in style.

Comments

DrewsFML 8

Saturday 30 July 2011 16:22

Sit in your office chair in the aisle and let your gas propel you through the maze of cubicles. if you're going to get fired, you may as well do it in style.

zaveeshaveesh3 7

Saturday 30 July 2011 16:39

Hahahah great idea! And good point

clockburrito 6

Saturday 30 July 2011 17:23

He's only getting fired if he doesn't show up to work, not for farting.

clockburrito 6

Saturday 30 July 2011 17:23

He's only getting fired if he doesn't show up to work, not for farting.

akayc32 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 18:23

OP is a she

howslife123 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 18:37

that's a great mental picture .. thanks for the image

mistfullkittie 3

Saturday 30 July 2011 21:18

I can so imagine that!! lmfao!!

GL1TCH3D 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 22:13

I don't see how the manager could fire you at that point xD

bellakaykid 6

Saturday 30 July 2011 16:23

Better pair your new medicine with some Beano.

SilentTreatment 7

Saturday 30 July 2011 16:24

That's why you give them the Silent Treatment!! >:)

sovetskiy 8

Saturday 30 July 2011 16:24

So go to the bathroom every time you have to fart?

Shadow4i5 3

Saturday 30 July 2011 21:27

Rly? cuz that is realistic. Thats a sensible idea if u were being sarcastic

Jake_the_Giraffe 7

Thursday 17 January 2013 7:52

"Sydney this is the 12th time in the oast hour that you've gone to the bathroom," "I drink a lot of water..." That wouldnt work so well.

Swishmantastic87 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 16:37

Let them rip bro, better out then in.

YoLauryn 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 16:40

Just play "Friday" by Rebecca Black full blast. Then their ears will all be broken and bleeding and then they won't hear your farts(:

hellogoodbye1996 6

Saturday 30 July 2011 16:47

Secretly you like the song and want her to blast it so you can hear it.

AnagenisisZagus 13

Saturday 30 July 2011 17:16

Why would she not like it? That is the music of the century, bro. Those lyrics, they change your life. They are so powerful, so deep. I am sorry, I was intoxicated just a bit ago, what the hell was I saying?

imadinosaursolik 3

Saturday 30 July 2011 18:35

hahahahahahaha love itt.

howslife123 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 18:39

Friday is kind of catchy if you don't watch the video..

TaylorTotsYumm 10

Saturday 30 July 2011 18:53

73, or listen to the song.

howslife123 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 19:16

it's catchy when other people sing it I swear

Ali_Br_fml 33

Sunday 31 July 2011 7:44

OMG!!! I just went on YouTube and typed that title in thinking, "It can't be that bad..." it was worse!!! Is that a prank song??? That can't be for real... Well, I couldn't listen to the complete song, but from what I heard... It makes me wanna rip my ears off... So yes op, that would totally distract people from the stench of your flatulence.