Miscellaneous: Friends? - FML

Friends?

By iAmJasper - 17/09/2014 21:56 - United States - Sun Prairie

Today, my friends came over to my house to eat my food and make fun of me as they played on my Xbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 414

You deserved it 8 873

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/11/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I spent the entire day at the hospital and was sent home attached to an obnoxious and somewhat painful heart monitor. I felt fine and decided to go to a bonfire with a few friends. I thought everyone was being nice until I overheard the guys referring to me as an unattractive xbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 305

You deserved it 3 308

You made them use coasters, Monica

By Anonymous - 21/09/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I was checking my friends' posts on Facebook and all of them were complaining what a boring night they had. They were all just at my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 553

You deserved it 199

By Anonymous - 21/02/2016 21:48 - United States - Merrimack

Today, I found out that my friends only hang out with me so they can play with my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 758

You deserved it 2 416

By melonhead - 14/01/2010 08:46 - Australia

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 881

You deserved it 3 722

Picky

By Anonymous - 30/03/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, my parents told me not to make plans for dinner as they were bringing it home. Normally, that would be great but they brought home slop from some buffet that had just opened. Everything was greasy, too salty, or bland. I told them they could have it, and made my own dinner. Now I'm being called, "The Food Network critic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 132

By vidzgrl - 28/01/2009 19:51 - Canada

Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 758

You deserved it 5 333

Unloveable

By Blah - 10/10/2019 06:01

Today, it was my second day of house-sitting. I was so out of my mind from not seeing people that I invited a bunch of friends over for dinner. I said I would pay for pizza and we could all hang out in the house. Even with an unsupervised house and free food, no one showed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 950

You deserved it 396

By NotYourFriend - 24/10/2016 19:53

Today, I had to kick my husband's friend out of our house after a week. He left lights on, played video games all day, ate all of our food and laughed when his son hit my dog. He was only invited over for one dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 135

You deserved it 846

By danii - 04/10/2011 01:19 - Reserved

Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 279

You deserved it 54 740

By dzisfml - 14/02/2010 08:42 - Canada

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 534

You deserved it 4 614

Next

Top comments

thefmljellyfish 10

Thursday 18 September 2014 8:40

Then they're not your real friends

markcallanan_ 20

Thursday 18 September 2014 8:42

Maybe make them leave?

Comments

Rainbow_dumpster 28

Thursday 18 September 2014 22:45

Unplug your XBox and tell them to get out of your house.

mattrd_fml 31

Thursday 18 September 2014 22:56

So you just let them eat your food and play on your xbox while they made fun of you? Sorry but ydi.

geekbait 5

Thursday 18 September 2014 23:10

Kick them out and shoot them in the kneecaps

AquaManatee 8

Friday 19 September 2014 0:07

Please explain because why didn't you just kick them out.

jmdnba097 12

Friday 19 September 2014 0:40

That's what true friends do... Or my friends just aren't really my friends

Amie89 20

Friday 19 September 2014 1:43

A) kick them out and get new friends, ones that actually deserve the term. B) grow a spine so you don't let people treat you this way. Complete these in any order.

Brownie02 10

Friday 19 September 2014 5:03

You misspelled assholes

emmsies 16

Friday 19 September 2014 5:06

you shouldve sent them home op

nemcali 34

Friday 19 September 2014 8:30

Kick them out!!!

Anumayis 34

Friday 19 September 2014 10:15

That's what friends are for right?

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Keywords

Work Management Love Jealousy Relationship advice Mental health Relatable Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Healthy Lifestyle Health Food Ironic Gifts Mother in law Money Birthday Family Education Parents Public freakouts Pranks Exams Students Weird Argument AITA Fear Insects

The Top

Today, I started a sport journalism degree. I was the only woman out of 60 students. The lecturer started talking about how we should all aspire to become sports editors of national newspapers. Later, he said women have no chance of ever becoming sports editors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 648

You deserved it 3 115

Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said, "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 525

You deserved it 12 736

The Top

Today, I forgot to bring a letter to my secondary school, so I went to detention. I told them it got lost, but it's only when my parents phoned and told them the same thing that they believed it. So I got detention for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 234

You deserved it 216

Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 176

You deserved it 366

Today, my friend got an engagement ring. She’s been with her boyfriend for 2 years and it started as a one-night stand. Whenever I have one-night stands, the only thing I get is left on "read". FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 709

Today, I was supposed to present a speech on diabetes. The girl who went first chose the same subject, knowing I'm diabetic and that it was my topic. I went last, so I had to change half of my speech on the spot. I sounded ignorant about my own illness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 036

You deserved it 6 525

Today, during a text conversation with a girl I've been trying to get with, she complained about how crummy of a day she was having. I told her it couldn't be as bad as she thought, and she would probably get it over it soon. Then she told me she had found out her cousin had been murdered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 169

You deserved it 13 379

Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 255

You deserved it 3 690