Love, Food and Awkward: Feed me - FML

Feed me

By Anonymous - 16/04/2011 08:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked what I was doing. I replied, "What I'm always doing." She couldn't think of anything besides eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 633

You deserved it 33 478

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Same thing different taste

By hopeless - 14/02/2015 20:04 - Canada - Halifax

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 740

You deserved it 2 882

By boringhusband - 08/05/2016 14:29 - United States - Salisbury

Today, while at dinner with my wife, she asked me what was on my mind as I stared blankly at the window. "Nothing" was interpreted as, "We are boring, and can't stand each other." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 713

You deserved it 1 508

What do you want from me?

By Anonymous - 16/09/2023 22:00

Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 116

Get on with it!

By Anonymous - 31/05/2023 00:02

Today, I told my fiancée I was going to the gym. She gave me a dozen "quick, easy errands" that took me over three hours to finish. When I was done, I called her and said I was going to the gym now. She yelled, "You still haven't gone? You've been out for days! What have you been doing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 176

Healthy lifestyle goals

By Anonymous - 06/04/2023 10:00

Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 173

Magpie eyes

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 16:30

Today, I spent an hour making my favorite work lunches, then portioning them out so I could have them all week. I later came home to a pile of empty containers. My girlfriend said, "Sorry, I got the munchies. Also, can you please do the dishes?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 144

By BaconLover - 28/10/2013 04:58 - Japan

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 608

You deserved it 45 494

By Username - 23/12/2010 10:50

Today, I asked a girl I liked what she was doing tomorrow night. She replied, "Cleaning, so nothing really." I then asked her out to dinner. She declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 978

You deserved it 4 789

No chance

By Anonymous - 21/02/2020 14:00

Today, my girlfriend of two years called me over late at night. I got excited, assuming she finally wanted sex. No, she just wanted me to make her mac and cheese and talk to her because she was ‘restless’. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 537

You deserved it 903

Foreplay

By Anonymous - 18/12/2022 09:00

Today, my girlfriend bitched that we spend too much money on food, and needed to start cooking to save money. I got home from work and started dinner. Halfway through, my girlfriend sighed and said, "This is taking too long, I'll order pizza." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 197

You deserved it 153

Next

Top comments

ripgeorgecarl1n 7

Sunday 3 April 2011 22:24

Whacking?

brocept 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 23:03

would u rather her say jacking off?

Comments

GODs_uncle 1

Sunday 3 April 2011 23:08

I'm sure you had already eaten half a chicken, a large pepperoni pizza and two moon pies when she texted you! YDI, get your fat ass off the couch and exercise!

BugsBunny1 4

Monday 4 April 2011 1:45

I find it strange that you assume he ate that much, and then insult him based on your assumptions! OP never even specified that he WAS actually eating!

_streets_ 19

Sunday 3 April 2011 23:17

Well don't be a little bitch next time and answer the damn question properly.

_streets_ 19

Sunday 3 April 2011 23:17

Well don't be a little bitch next time and answer the damn question properly.

DeadxManxWalking 27

Sunday 3 April 2011 23:23

then what? o.o

bighurt86 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 23:38

she cuda said sumthing else but obviously all u do is eat.

KRS_13 0

Monday 4 April 2011 0:05

...so what were you doing?

CateXOX 0

Monday 4 April 2011 0:16

At least she didn't say masturbating. You know it's the truth.

TheWorldGreatest 8

Monday 4 April 2011 0:35

she knows you the best! you are probably a huge fat bastard.

silverstream20 20

Monday 4 April 2011 5:28

I love it how everyone assumes the op is fat and insulting him for all you know the gf could be just being bitchy or making a joke

ShelbyyCakess 0

Monday 4 April 2011 0:56

time for you to go on a diet? fyl.

muffinlizzie 7

Monday 4 April 2011 0:57

So? That's what my guy and I are always doing when we talk to each other (eating). It doesn't mean you're fat (unless you are, you be the judge of that). Anyway we eat constantly and I'm about 5'2" yet I don't even weigh 100 and he's 5'8" and just about as skinny as I am. And hey on the bright side at least she didn't say masturbating.

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Keywords

Work Management Awkward Friends Miscellaneous Healthy Lifestyle Health Relatable Mother in law Gifts Birthday Family Money Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Love AITA Argument Fear Insects Skincare Cats Job interview Jealousy Gross

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