Weird and Love: Dude, seriously?

Dude, seriously?

By mellielynnemily - 26/10/2014 22:46 - United States

Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 735

You deserved it 4 439

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Hobbies

By Stinkycar - 05/06/2017 12:00

Today, it was an unusually hot day and I saw one of my friends walking down the street carrying a large bag. I stopped and asked if he needed a ride. When he got in, I noticed a horrible stench. He then told me he'd just been dumpster diving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 662

You deserved it 539

By JacktheRussian - 08/04/2013 00:33 - United States

Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 959

You deserved it 42 425

By Official_Person - 02/06/2010 21:31 - United States

Today, I got married. My new husband wanted to carry me over the threshold of our apartment, but he couldn't pick me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 028

You deserved it 31 125

Bye bye clothes

By kmjlevesque - 03/06/2020 02:00

Today, I ran out of moving boxes so I used a few garbage bags to pack up my clothes. My new roommate decided to be helpful by putting those green garbage bags in the dumpster. It was garbage day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 656

You deserved it 319

By Anonymous - 12/05/2014 00:14 - New Zealand - Napier

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 806

You deserved it 7 816

By LetMeOut - 11/11/2013 18:02 - United States - Richmond

Today, my husband got mad at me for not helping take out the groceries from the car. He yelled that I'm lazy, and that he regrets our marriage. I guess he forgot that the door handle on that side is broken and he had to let me out of the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 974

You deserved it 4 625

By Noname - 03/02/2009 19:57 - United States

Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 910

You deserved it 55 301

By explosiveBAM - 26/05/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, I was texting at work when my manager walked in. I quickly dropped my phone in the garbage to avoid trouble. Since I was working so hard, she decided to do me a favor and throw the trash out for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 049

You deserved it 56 105

Dude, WTF?

By truckstopworker - 27/04/2017 02:00

Today, while working at my truck stop, I helped a trucker check his tires. He seemed like a pretty nice guy, and we chatted for a bit. After he took off and I walked back inside, I went to clean the shower he was in before. Turns out he took a shit on the floor. His wife had been in there with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 931

You deserved it 340

By clop clop clopping all the way - 20/06/2013 21:13 - United States

Today, a guy's car broke down in my street, so I helped him push it into my driveway, checked his car out, and gave it a jump start. He thanked me, then as he went to pull out, he instead smashed straight into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 455

You deserved it 3 973

ihavenolifehaha 16

Monday 27 October 2014 8:14

He sounds really trashy

sweetbliss3 37

Monday 27 October 2014 8:16

he sounds over dramatic. because he can't just do something nice and not act like a moron because you're married.

Comments

narutoreference 10

Monday 27 October 2014 12:50

At least he didn't say your clothes were trashy

hk1998 8

Monday 27 October 2014 13:13

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

MzZombicidal 36

Monday 27 October 2014 16:29

Why? Because some random woman turned you down and bruised your poor little ego? Lol. You'd have no reason to be that mad in this situation just like him.

withered 30

Saturday 12 May 2018 16:37

Why? Because hk1998 is probably a "nice guy" himself, like the douche in FML. "I PRETEND to be nice, so people should line up to have sex with me (attractive ones only, ofc) despite me being unattractive, having zero personality and being a douche".

vikky538 28

Monday 27 October 2014 13:17

what ever you found near trash is a trash....who would try to pickup a girl at dumpster...

ohSNAPyall 26

Monday 27 October 2014 13:19

She was coming out of her apartment.

BananEnigma 24

Wednesday 20 July 2016 3:12

Wow. Sounds like you have some major issues, dude. Get help.

Tegz0rz 12

Monday 27 October 2014 13:17

Ugh. Fuckboys.

empbob 20

Monday 27 October 2014 13:51

You'd think the wedding ring on her hand might have been a dead giveaway...

donutcallmethat 16

Tuesday 28 October 2014 18:00

Exactly. He obviously blames the OP, for his mistake. He should have checked for a wedding ring before he asked her out. I've had some pretty scary experiences with men, who asked me out without noticing my wedding ring. I've learned to just make an excuse and get away from them, instead of telling them that I am married.

Deathknote 8

Monday 27 October 2014 13:54

this made my day

shinikageWolf 15

Monday 27 October 2014 14:32

Because apparently guys can't do anything nice without expecting some sex out of it. I apologize for my gender.

davincidasecond 24

Thursday 30 October 2014 5:58

Stop making sweeping generalizations, please.

ciammmm 11

Monday 27 October 2014 14:46

Whenever I have heard some guy complain that women never sleep with him and he is always nice, I like to point out nice guys do not just do things to get laid.