Cute and Miscellaneous: Doofus

Doofus

By wobbles - 04/12/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to find my glasses. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was wearing them the whole time, or that my girlfriend played along and helped me look for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 926

You deserved it 34 341

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Same thing different taste

By Kyle - 10/05/2011 10:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 986

You deserved it 46 984

Like a bat

By Blind - 15/01/2023 21:00 - United States

Today, my glasses have completely disappeared. I know for a fact that I put them on my desk, but now they're absolutely nowhere to be found. This is my first time playing "Find your glasses without the assistance of your glasses" and I'm failing at it badly. My vision isn't even that bad yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 100

By Anonymous - 01/07/2015 17:54 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, I spent nearly half an hour looking for my favourite pair of shoes. I ended up getting so pissed off that I accused my boyfriend of stealing them. He then pointed out that I was wearing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 827

You deserved it 34 251

By Glassless - 26/05/2017 20:00

Today, I lost my glasses. I don't have spares but my girlfriend said I could borrow hers. She doesn't understand why this won't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 140

You deserved it 486

Brain fart Andy over here

By Anonymous - 17/08/2021 16:01 - Italy

Today, as I was getting dressed after a shower, I spent a good 30 seconds searching for my underwear… which I'd already put on at that point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 306

By chrono64 - 20/12/2009 02:40 - United States

Today, I found a pair of glasses in my car. I don't wear glasses, and nobody besides myself has been in my car lately. It appears that someone has been sleeping in my car and forgot their glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 422

You deserved it 3 346

Played a blinder

By hereforfmls - 26/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Jasper

Today, I felt something hit my eye as I was riding on my bike. My glasses ended up falling off. I looked for them for ten minutes before giving up. I ran over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 592

You deserved it 411

Mystery

By Anonymous - 30/04/2023 00:00

Today, somewhere between home and work, my glasses vanished off my face. I know I had them on before I set off because I cleaned them in the car and put them on, then halfway to work I suddenly had to squint to see because glasses gone. I’ve been searching for an hour, they are nowhere. HOW? FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 146

By lunchbox2353 - 30/07/2019 02:00 - United States

Today, for 20 minutes, I watched my girlfriend use a mini flashlight to look for her keys in her purse. The flashlight was on her key chain. As were her keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 741

You deserved it 382

By TurtleTeacher - 14/10/2011 06:09 - United States

Today, my students took my glasses, hid them from me, and called me a turtle when I squinted my eyes trying to look for them. This carried on for about 25 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 904

You deserved it 4 053

gigi2009 0

Friday 4 December 2009 13:20

haha fun gf

ICallKyo 3

Friday 4 December 2009 13:36

if this had happened to someone with any sense of humor, it would have ended up on MLIA. how is that an FML at all?

Comments

izzyyy 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 8:57

Haha win girlfriend!

COBRAMORPH 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 9:27

put your **** in her eye.

arissia 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 15:49

I did this once when I was little on a car trip.. only it was my shoe I couldn't find. I was sleepy.

LolWaitWut 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 12:38

lol what a nice girlfriend! she sounds fun (: this isnt an fml.

kat93 0

Monday 7 December 2009 0:02

lolz xDDDD that is uberly retarded but it has happened to me...xD

jloveee 0

Monday 7 December 2009 9:48

HAHA! your girlfriend is awesome.

ShadowPoseidon 0

Tuesday 8 December 2009 13:50

ahaahahaha i like ur girlfriend xDD

BrookDarling 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 23:54

Lmao. Your girlfriends clever.

Level27chick04 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 7:53

I've actually did that.

Txgurl08 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 2:56

haha i did that to my boyfriend too! CLASSIC...not 4 you though lol sorry just to funny

Keywords

Management Work Love Jealousy Relatable Mental health Relationship advice Friends Miscellaneous Awkward Health Healthy Lifestyle Ironic Food Birthday Family Money Mother in law Gifts Public freakouts Education Parents Students Exams Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

The Top

Today, to spice things up a bit, my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner, so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 101

You deserved it 36 910

Today, I attended a family gathering where everyone was taking turns sharing exciting life updates. When it was my turn, I proudly announced that I'd finally mastered the art of adulting... only for my dad to pipe up with, "Makes a change from when you used to wank like a gibbon thinking we couldn't hear you up there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 184

The Top

Today, he’s the worst backseat driver ever: first he demands I drive more slowly, then when I swerve slightly because he startled me, he promptly admonishes me to stay in my lane. "He"? Well, he’s not actually a person. He’s my very high-tech rental car, who won’t shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 287

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 738

You deserved it 12 416

Today, my professor handed me back a paper I spent hours hours working on. At the bottom in red it said "D" followed by, "That was a gift." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 787

You deserved it 8 014

Today, we finished redecorating my kitchen. My dad has been his usual OCD self about getting it perfect, so when he noticed a shelf was just barely not level, he decided to adjust the screws. It fell off and damaged my floor, so he threw the screwdriver and cracked a wall tile. Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 86

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 982

You deserved it 5 030

Today, I heard what sounded like an explosion from the basement of my house. Turns out my foundation cracked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 52