Congratulations

By anon - 28/07/2015 05:02 - United States - Northbrook

Today, my step-sister told me that she was getting married to her girlfriend next summer. At a big family brunch, I made a toast to their marriage. I didn't know that my step-mom didn't know they were dating in the first place, or that she was severely homophobic. FML
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You deserved it 4 819
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Top comments

Yazoo77 16

Well, somehow she would have known. Rather now, than crashing the wedding.

398 4
Tacogamer20 14

Well, hopefully they are happy, even without family consensus. It was still a sweet thing to do, even with that kind of backlash.

308 7

Comments

pete9913 23

She definitely should have told you that her mom did not know yet. Not your fault at all.

2 0
_kitkitkat_ 12

This is why you always ask before you talk to people about anyone being LGBT+. Better safe than outing someone. It's not just some personal secret, this is a thing that can put people in legitimate danger.

1 2
Shade1982 20

Ehm, no, I don't think so. If they haven't informed op about this, it's not op's fault. If they haven't told their families about their lifestyle by the time they announce their engagement to you, it is on their own heads. They need to grow a pair and tell their family, you can't keep hiding in the shadows forever. What were they planning, a secret wedding? What kind of 'danger' are you expecting? If it is actual legitimate danger, htye need to move far away. If your own family would actually endanger you over something like this, they don't deserve to be your family. If their mother can't find peace in the fact they are getting married, tough luck for her.

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ford_chick_22 12

So you're saying it's my responsibility to ask if you are telling me a secret when you tell me any big news? It's my responsibility to remind YOU to inform ME that this is YOUR secret? I don't care if you're LGBT or not it's not my responsibility to know what is and is not a secret if you don't tell me it's a secret. That's like saying "They are a mixed race couple and just told me they are getting married. I should ask them if this is a secret."

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TallMist 32

#110 You should already KNOW that it's their secret and it's common sense to NOT assume everyone knows. It's as simple as that.

1 2
jmayer12 14

Was your step-mom homophobic? Or is she just against homosexual relationships? There are people like me who think homosexual relationships are wrong, but we still respect the people who engage in them. Don't put people like me in the same box as people who are actually homophobic like the WBC

0 0
GhostFox 33

Generally speaking, when it comes to LGBT matters, you should assume the person is in the closet to the world at large unless they tell you otherwise. Most people seem to think that just because same-gender marriage is legal in the USA now, that there aren't people who will still kill people for being LGBT. Well, it does, alarmingly often. As to people saying that if someone tells you something, and assuming they've told everyone else... What if someone told you they were raped? Would you blurt that? What if they told you they were being abused? Would you casually announce that? Even in the case of "good news" things, like pregnancy, people can get in trouble for them. For f***'s sake, there was an FML about someone being fired for being pregnant within the last four weeks. The point I'm trying to make here is that you shouldn't spread information people tell you if it could get them in trouble, official trouble or 'just' social trouble. With the exception being if it endangers them more to not tell someone- in which case, if it is something that you can report and have action actually be taken, report it to the authorities that would handle it.

1 1
TallMist 32

THANK YOU!! Finally someone that understands you don't just go around blabbing about people!! Holy shit, I'm surprised it took this long. #111 you are awesome!

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interesting33 36

I think OP's friend should have told them if it was a secret - I mean if they are getting MARRIED and their parents don't know they should tell you that because of course you would assume their parents would know. I mean being in a relationship is one thing but being married is a whole other kettle of fish. So I don't think this was OP's fault at all - it isn't the same as being abused, it isn't something that you would tell the world necessarily but you should be able to expect their parents to know about it unless they told you to keep it a secret.

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TallMist 32

Not the same as being abused, but it sure as hell can lead to it. And I'm sorry, but your logic is flawed. You DON'T assume everyone knows. You assume people DON'T know. You don't just go around blabbing about that to people.

1 0
interesting33 36

Yes it can lead to being abused. But when your step-sister says she is getting married, if she doesn't tell you her Mum doesn't know, then I think you can assume her Mum knows. I think it is up to her to say if she doesn't want you to say something to her parents. We can agree to disagree.

0 0
TallMist 32

Why do people always assume the parents are the first told? Honestly, based on what I've seen, they're the last. And it doesn't matter either way. You do NOT assume someone is out to everyone just because they're out to you.

0 0
ford_chick_22 12

#120 you are telling me to assume then to not assume. You can't have it both ways.

1 1
TallMist 32

I didn't say not to assume anything at all whatsoever. Just to not assume that everyone knows and to assume that everyone doesn't know (As in, don't assume everyone does, assume not everyone, or maybe even no one, does)

1 0
Tankkiller308 16

Ok I'm sorry but I've got to say something I'm not trying to start a fight but why do you automatically call someone a homophobe that is extremely offensive to people who do not support gay marriage by giving the minority rights over the majority there is something wrong true Christians, and emphasizing on the true part (many people claim to be Christian but do not act as Christ and they are not true representatives of Christianity), do not tell them they are going to hell, they chose to live the way they do christians do not have a problem with there choice to marry even though we believe it is wrong we are not the ones allowed to judge God is, but we have been forced to support it and when we don't they sue us and yell that we are disrespecting their rights so before you start calling us homophobes consider what your saying and what has happened to us because they wanted forced support.

0 0
emw7187 11

congratulations to them 2. I hope it works out for them. And soon people will understand that love is love, no matter who it is, there lucky to find it! ! ((((hugs)))) tell your step mom she's an idiot.

1 0
caramelcookie 11

I can see why the YDI but also the FYL side of it. So I'm on both sides. YDI because if she wanted everyone to know she would have told you at the brunch along with everyone else. Also FYL because you were trying to do something nice. Next time, maybe ask the person who all knows and who they want knowing to save embarrassment for yourself?

0 0
jbuckets_404 38

OP, not YOUR fault esp. if your step-sister never told you NOT to mention it to your step-mom. lol

0 0