Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Cockblocked

Cockblocked

By AudreyUs - 10/12/2008 19:31 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 669

You deserved it 18 459

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Same thing different taste

By frustrated - 17/08/2013 22:56 - Ireland - Killarney

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 133

You deserved it 7 406

Mortified

By killmenow - 21/02/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barge in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 957

You deserved it 8 928

Kinda awkward

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 01:18 - United States - Tampa

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 244

You deserved it 37 870

By MenstruallyFrustrated - 23/07/2013 17:18 - United States - Surprise

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 983

You deserved it 6 205

By PCJJacket - 05/05/2014 17:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 202

You deserved it 26 142

By Andrew - 23/10/2012 19:12 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 477

You deserved it 11 454

By avocadotoe - 14/11/2016 06:52 - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 195

You deserved it 3 103

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 385

You deserved it 6 023

By Gurior - 04/09/2011 07:01 - Canada

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 918

You deserved it 48 779

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 22:18 - United States

Today, driving home, my girlfriend and I decided we were finally going to have sex. We got in the backseat, then I opened my condom to find it was already broken. We ended up playing connect four instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 724

You deserved it 5 675

Acesarcasm 0

Friday 6 March 2009 2:33

that's pessimistic. have a **** in the backyard, be adventurous.

2random 0

Tuesday 10 February 2009 11:55

are you attached by the hip ? why didnt just one of you go?

Comments

plaastik 0

Saturday 8 August 2009 10:15

okay, they're right...only the guy should've gone. but look the bright side, it would have been a million times worse that your parents saw you

pulpfiction_fml 3

Friday 21 August 2009 9:10

Do it on the lawn! Give the neighbors a show!

notyou123 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 3:55

it's called a backyard people!!!!

Tummy_tumble 0

Saturday 29 May 2010 18:41

You can upload FMLs from an iPhone, so that's probally what happened.

Mamzellodrey 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 1:01

OMG! I posted that like two years ago and didnt even know it got put up. "family house" cause im a foreigner and I didnt know how to call my host family house^^ Didnt have a car, we went on foot, and yeah only one of us cld have gone, didnt though of that at the time, and we did try to break in...That damn window.. Yeah, no backyard and being creative is Awesome but having a bed is so nice once in a while! Oh, and i just posted it afterward didnt need an iphone OR to have a laptop in my pocket ;D