Intimacy: Today, driving home, my girlfriend and I decided we were finally...

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 22:18 - United States

Today, driving home, my girlfriend and I decided we were finally going to have sex. We got in the backseat, then I opened my condom to find it was already broken. We ended up playing connect four instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 724

You deserved it 5 675

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Same thing different taste

By JayFri - 06/06/2011 17:20 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex in his car. He got out of the car and moved to the passenger seat with me. As he shut the door, it slammed against my fingers, breaking one of them. He then asked if we could still have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 465

You deserved it 7 243

Cockblocked

By AudreyUs - 10/12/2008 19:31 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 667

You deserved it 18 457

Why would you stick that there?

By Co-B - 03/09/2009 20:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 872

You deserved it 61 033

Alexa, play "Love in a Car" by The House of Love

By manymisfortunes - 04/10/2014 05:43 - Canada - Lachine

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a quickie in the car. We had left a window open so it wasn't too hot, and I was holding onto the edge of the window, fingers hanging over. In the midst of it all, my boyfriend managed to close the window by hitting the button. My finger is broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 131

You deserved it 12 483

By Andrew - 23/10/2012 19:12 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 477

You deserved it 11 454

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 01:18 - United States - Tampa

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 221

You deserved it 37 850

By douglisk1994 - 10/02/2009 00:07 - United States

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 184

You deserved it 20 244

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 259

You deserved it 3 172

By PCJJacket - 05/05/2014 17:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 202

You deserved it 26 141

By Anonymous - 05/08/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, a friend and I drove all the way from Texas to a small town in Colorado to spend an entire uninterrupted night together. Not only did he forget to bring condoms but everything was closed by the time we got into town. We ended up playing cards on the bed instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 430

You deserved it 45 930

littlegolferboy 4

Monday 2 November 2009 2:47

So your first time together was going to be in the back of your car. That's so classy. You probably had a top hat and monocle on at the time, didn't you?

perdix 29

Monday 2 November 2009 1:41

Connect Four? Is that where you do 69 and finger each other's assholes? That's four connections, right? A bit awkward and not to my liking, but a pretty fair alternative to screwing.

Comments

perdix 29

Monday 2 November 2009 1:41

Connect Four? Is that where you do 69 and finger each other's assholes? That's four connections, right? A bit awkward and not to my liking, but a pretty fair alternative to screwing.

KRACR 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 8:06

Win :D

Lahir 0

Tuesday 22 June 2010 18:33

lol why didn't he have sex and pull out?

TPxSTIFFY925 0

Sunday 8 August 2010 12:41

Go in RAW DOG!!!

innerexlet 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 7:03

I remember back when perdix was around, what happened to those people like cinn and redpillsucks?

ProgMetalMan 8

Thursday 17 July 2014 18:49

#64 - Because there are these shitty, often hidden things called sexually transmitted infections. Some people are smart enough to use contraception that actually works. Please never fornicate. Clearly you'll taint the gene pool.

flyboy57 0

Monday 2 November 2009 1:48

and you couldn't go buy one? fail!

XoRoxybabe615Xo 0

Monday 2 November 2009 1:49

dude that totally sucks next time before u leave to go out with her check it out to make sure it's okay or it's not expired. if that happened to me and my boyfriend it woukd just ruined everything.

benshady 0

Monday 2 November 2009 1:54

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

music_baby224 0

Monday 2 November 2009 7:53

okayyyyyyy. that's dumb.

calebg23 0

Tuesday 23 March 2010 22:15

yeah that makes sence... kill the baby? therefore making you a ******* murderer? woohoo prison!

limepinklis 0

Friday 1 April 2011 1:33

yay!

Wazilla 0

Wednesday 8 June 2011 8:52

Abortions cost more than a condom does. Not an equal pay off IMO.

UnicornPukePink 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 19:55

Not that I support abortion, but haveing one does not make you a murderer. You can only get one before the baby is actually even really a baby yet.

JinxosGirl87 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 23:47

Abortions can put the mother at risk of complications. It's not as easy as going to the ****** store and buying a god damn condom to begin with.

deltoramastr 12

Tuesday 22 January 2013 23:07

Abortions are legal yes. However it is murder as by the time you find out your pregnant the child has already formed quite a bit usually thus you are murdering an innocent child. If you truely don't want the child give it up for adoption

el393way 0

Monday 2 November 2009 1:56

couldn't you have found something to do that wasn't just all the way?

toaster468 0

Tuesday 20 April 2010 4:22

yea like air ******' when you don't touch you just move like you are.... or shoot her with a water gun filled with salty milk and hold it near your crotch and itl be like you are accuallt cumming!!!!!

awesome_o 0

Monday 2 November 2009 2:23

she has two other points of entry where rubbers are not completely necessary ;)

blland 0

Monday 2 November 2009 2:27

no blojob!? cmon woman!!

wambamtysam 0

Monday 2 November 2009 2:43

man, number one rule, always have a spare.

littlegolferboy 4

Monday 2 November 2009 2:47

So your first time together was going to be in the back of your car. That's so classy. You probably had a top hat and monocle on at the time, didn't you?