Cats, Scary and Kids: Beware!

Beware!

By Anonymous - 24/11/2011 17:07 - United States

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 109

You deserved it 3 829

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 22:36 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 249

You deserved it 7 310

By Anonymous - 11/01/2012 20:08 - United Arab Emirates

Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 351

You deserved it 7 498

By grosssss - 01/01/2010 13:03 - Australia

Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 727

You deserved it 3 429

By Uh oh.... - 05/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was awakened by a small scary dark figure approaching me while making creepy noises. I screamed, kicked it away, and buried my face under my pillow. Later, after braving up, I turned on the lights. It was my sick 3-year-old niece, now dazed and coughing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 2 791

By Anonymous - 29/06/2019 01:00

Today, my son was crying and refusing to sleep in his room because a spider ran along the wall, and it's now hiding somewhere. He’s 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 679

You deserved it 407

By ENDmySUFFERING - 21/07/2016 15:25 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I walked into my son's room to be attacked by a swarm of flies. I'm afraid to go back in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 252

You deserved it 1 292

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 506

You deserved it 28 622

Rocky VIX

By Anonymous - 29/09/2019 20:06

Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 349

You deserved it 354

By Michelle - 20/02/2011 17:45 - United States

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 100

You deserved it 4 966

Scooby snacks

By Anonymous - 04/07/2022 07:00 - United States - Ashland

Today, I was frantically woken up from a nap by my son who was scared because there was a dog in the house. We don't own a dog. It was the new neighbor's dog. When my son opened the door to go play outside, the dog came barreling in. My kid and cats were terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 141

Checker 20

Friday 25 November 2011 0:53

Check again...?

irimalovecheer98 5

Friday 25 November 2011 0:55

Lol, I feel bad for your son

Comments

alissatastic 8

Friday 25 November 2011 1:10

That sucks, well I guess you better get comfy cause your little boy is probably gonna be sleeping in your bed for awhile! :p

saIty 17

Friday 25 November 2011 1:12

If you really wanted to, tell him if he doesn't behave the monster will get him. It might be mean but hey, it's good parenting.... Kind of...

scoop15928 4

Friday 25 November 2011 1:16

Wow next you'll discover that the monster in the closet is really a raccoon waiting to scratch your face up.

ncvane 5

Friday 25 November 2011 1:16

First off, I am sorry you got attacked. That being said, this was THE FUNNIEST thing I have read in a long time! I hope you heal well.Thanks for the laugh.

Right_Click 12

Friday 25 November 2011 3:08

You must be extremely sheltered if you find a cat attacking someone's face "the funniest thing you have read in a long time."

HatefulPilot 0

Friday 25 November 2011 3:23

I fly tree-top level.. Nothing sheltered about me. And yeah, I find it ridiculously hilarious.

1badjuju 6

Friday 25 November 2011 17:15

You couldn't stage this to happen any more perfectly...it is hilarious if you think about how everything played out just right. Now he is going to grow up believing whole heatedly in monsters under the bed. This story will be told for generations!

Sextonator 9

Friday 25 November 2011 1:19

Awww, sucks for you! I hope you can find a way to settle his fear.

Isoldael 27

Friday 25 November 2011 1:25

I bet the cat overheard the conversation and just got under that bed to undermine your authority. (yes, it's clearly late and I'm not thinking straight anymore)