Work, Food, Fat, Awkward and Thief: Assumptions

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 19/01/2022 02:01

Today, there's a food thief in our office who manages to steal from the fridge without being caught, and everyone keeps blaming me, probably because I’m the fattest. I have a gastric band and can only eat a few mouthfuls before being full, but still people think I’m stealing entire bags of food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 620

You deserved it 146

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Same thing different taste

Under new management

By NotAThief - 17/07/2017 20:00

Today, I got a talking-to at work from my new manager for eating other peoples' lunches. Immediately afterwards, I watched my manager leave the room, take MY lunch, and begin eating it. Apparently my new manager is the thief, and I'm now the office pariah who gets the blame. Nobody believes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 190

You deserved it 310

By Jake Leiter - 20/03/2016 18:12 - United States - Grantham

Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 974

You deserved it 1 232

Well played

By FUCK THE PIGS - 26/01/2013 20:44 - United States - Oakland

Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 548

You deserved it 4 173

By goingtothegym - 09/12/2013 01:16 - United States - Canyon Country

Today, I was accused of shoplifting because my jacket looked "too chunky". I wasn't stealing, I'm just fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 719

You deserved it 6 546

By nocat6 - 15/09/2014 03:07 - United States - Northville

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 152

You deserved it 3 061

By Hairball - 01/09/2009 18:05 - United States

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 445

You deserved it 404 745

By muffins - 09/08/2014 13:50 - United States - Potomac

Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 240

You deserved it 4 555

By anonymous - 08/10/2011 20:40 - United States

Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 554

You deserved it 17 490

By Jen - 09/11/2010 03:36 - Australia

Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 801

You deserved it 2 749

By what_the_hell - 20/06/2013 08:35 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 846

You deserved it 3 592

Chazzster 28

Wednesday 19 January 2022 3:25

The thief could be one of the the people accusing you of theft.

Sasor123 6

Wednesday 19 January 2022 5:29

Bring food and put laxative in it. Fastest way to find out just be sure to remember.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 19 January 2022 2:15

You could be eating their food in small portions throughout the day. That's how people can beat the gastric band.

Chazzster 28

Wednesday 19 January 2022 3:25

The thief could be one of the the people accusing you of theft.

Sasor123 6

Wednesday 19 January 2022 5:29

Bring food and put laxative in it. Fastest way to find out just be sure to remember.

ajf09 1

Wednesday 19 January 2022 6:40

Or super hot sauce?

ajf09 1

Wednesday 19 January 2022 6:38

I’m uncertain why everyone is blaming you…I recommend a meeting with HR.

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I agree, your life sucks 52 857

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Assumptions

Same thing different taste

Under new management

Well played

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