Parenting, Cute and Kids: Anything is food if you're brave enough

You mean you can't figure out how to submit one, or your submitted ones don't get posted? Only select FMLs make if onto the site-- the users vote on all submissions, and then the mods have to approve and post them.

wffej 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 1:23

congratz on a retarded child

Keywords

Animals Cats Cute Intimacy Sex Awkward Family Work Alcohol Coworkers Mental health Health Psychology AITA Relationship advice Weird Love Cops Miscellaneous Neighbours Scary Stressed out Parents Cake Birthday Dogs Transportation Cars Embarrassing Fire

The Top

Today, at my maternal grandmother’s wake, I decided I deserved a piece of cake as it had been a hard day. I was serving myself a slice when my paternal grandma caught my eye from across the room, making a “fat face” at me. She called out, loudly, “You don’t need it Pudgy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 861

You deserved it 696

Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 396

You deserved it 280

The Top

Today, my Tinder date took one look at me and left, because, "the camera" made me "look thick" and he, "can’t date a skinny bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 725

You deserved it 213

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 182

You deserved it 3 813

Today, for my birthday, my mom presented me with a $4,000 check to pay for my braces. I've been very self-conscious about my teeth for years. Everyone applauded and told me how happy they were for me. Later, my mom asked me for the check back. Apparently it was just meant to make her look good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 312

You deserved it 2 827

Today, my mom found out I'm failing three classes. Now she won't let me go to a convention I bought passes for weeks in advance. Each pass was $45, and I bought 2 more for my friends. You do the math on that, because I apparently can't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 099

You deserved it 45 955

Today, I actually resorted to checking the newspaper obituaries to see where the deceased were employed, just so I can find a job opening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 379

You deserved it 5 403

Today, I yelled, "Fuck me, oh shit!" instinctively after accidentally spilling boiling hot coffee all over myself. My 3-year-old niece found this hilarious, and won't stop saying "Fuck my shit." Her parents are due to pick her up any moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 216

You deserved it 758