Miscellaneous: America! F*** yeah! - FML

America! F*** yeah!

By scarredforlife - 08/08/2009 01:34 - United States

Today, it was my mom's birthday, I planned to wish her a happy birthday as she woke up. I opened the door to her room, only to see my dad dancing around in an American flag thong. Grimacing in pain, I closed the door right away. Not only am I forever disturbed, but now my dad is asking me how he looks naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 222

You deserved it 7 210

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By Anonymous - 16/09/2023 10:00

Today, I saw my dad naked. How? He came into the room I was staying in, drunk. I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 90

By nopleasestopmother - 02/05/2014 23:03 - United States - Lake Mills

Today, my mother asked me why I disliked her and my father's nakedness in the family pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 490

You deserved it 3 671

By obtuse_ballsack - 04/06/2012 20:37 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 703

You deserved it 2 757

By potatoes - 17/01/2012 03:16 - United States

Today, my dad got me to dance with him. After about a minute of waltzing to a song on the radio, he stepped away and said, "You smell bad. You need to take a shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 276

You deserved it 30 934

By ahhhhhh - 12/02/2015 17:23 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 629

You deserved it 6 498

By Anonymous - 26/07/2019 04:00

Today, I came out of my bedroom to find my mom doing yoga in my hallway. Naked. She doesn't seem to think there's any problem with this. It's my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 862

You deserved it 142

By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Dekalb

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 089

You deserved it 3 059

By Imretarded - 24/05/2009 05:18 - United States

Today, I saw my mom naked as she came out of the shower. I realized that's the first time I've ever seen a naked woman. I'm a 24 year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 937

You deserved it 13 562

By Anonymous - 13/03/2010 09:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 751

You deserved it 10 094

By meeeoow - 22/01/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 658

You deserved it 2 773

Next

Top comments

Luckster 0

Saturday 8 August 2009 9:23

What has been seen cannot be unseen, sadly. *shutters at the mere thought*

taz1 1

Saturday 8 August 2009 9:28

Well at least he's patriotic...

Comments

HeroicDude 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 12:43

Haha, that gave me a good laugh. Thanks for sharing it!

ObadiahtheSlim 2

Sunday 9 August 2009 19:54

That, children, is why you always knock first.

watanidiot 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 19:06

HAHAHAHAHA

Link5794 18

Saturday 4 September 2010 17:00

Ikz_Hustler 9

Friday 25 February 2011 21:52

Knock? Your dads a joker, when I read "grimacing in pain" LMAOOOOO

smilessss 4

Friday 8 April 2011 4:27

threesome!!!!

yawndiver 2

Saturday 14 May 2011 0:25

tell him "patriotic"

bluejayscheer 7

Wednesday 7 March 2012 4:20

Oh the poor flag.

cwl727 32

Wednesday 26 March 2014 23:26

You should have knocked.

xx_ginny 17

Thursday 19 June 2014 16:52

Do you not know how to knock first..?

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Keywords

Work Management Jealousy Love Relationship advice Mental health Relatable Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Healthy Lifestyle Health Food Ironic Mother in law Gifts Money Birthday Family Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird AITA Argument Fear Insects

The Top

Today, while fighting unemployment and an visible abscess on my neck, I was cajoled into attending my Mom's birthday party. I spent the entire time at the restaurant trying to hide an oozing sore with a bandage, eating partially edible food. The cost? $40 I can't afford to spend on food not worth $5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 97

Today, I was at a wedding reception. Everyone got offended when I threw my hands up and backed off to avoid catching the garter and let the two guys on either side fight for it. Nothing but laughs for the cousin who grabbed the bouquet out of someone else's hand and punched her, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 84

The Top

Today, I spoiled the ending of my favorite show for my friend, so now I'm banned from watching or discussing it with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 1 374

Today, at the ungodly hour of 11 PM, my dad called to tell me he was driving my mom to the hospital because she was having breathing problems. It turned out to be nothing serious, but my brain decided to freak out anyway, effectively making me unable to fall asleep. Now, I have to go to work like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 261

Today, after I got into an argument with mom's boyfriend, telling him to piss off because no one wanted him, and he did so, saying he was done putting in wasted effort, now he's gone I realise how much he did for us, or that his share of the bills paid the rent. We may lose our house because of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 2 655

Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I still close the door when I go to the bathroom. He pees and poops with the door wide open and expects me to do the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 814

You deserved it 419

Today, I ended up being wasting an entire week on a very important scholarship essay because I thought the requirements said “3500 words” when in reality, they said “3500 characters”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 906

Today, I realised how poor I am when I found myself fishing out a two dollar coin someone had left behind in a public toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 513

You deserved it 6 697