Love and Alcohol: Alcoholics of the world, get help - FML

Alcoholics of the world, get help

By Anonymous - 28/01/2021 02:01

Spicy

Today, I know my life is awesome when my partner and I have to plan watching movies and having sex around his drinking schedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 236

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

By Stinky. - 09/04/2012 03:29 - United States - Chicago

Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 695

You deserved it 2 736

Bae goals

By ninithel - 02/09/2021 16:01 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I learned that when my partner says, "Let's cuddle up, watch something and spend the night together," he means ,"I'm gonna wank and fall asleep at 8.30 with my phone playing videos." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 145

You deserved it 188

By bellaboop1990 - 14/07/2009 22:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 497

You deserved it 6 363

SEXY!

By Anonymous - 20/03/2014 02:43 - United States - Canyon

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend decided it was time to spice up our sex life. He now watches Sons Of Anarchy when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 227

You deserved it 6 978

Turn it off

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 06:00

Spicy

Today, I got dressed up in lingerie for my boyfriend. He looked at me, said, "Nice," then went back to watching TV and drinking beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 166

Exhausted

By snoozes - 16/11/2021 11:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband and I have officially become that couple that has to schedule sex. Between his working, my going back to school, raising kids, doing housework and homework, we just haven’t had time. Last night we tried to be spontaneous and get it on. We both fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 586

You deserved it 245

Our little bundles of joy

By Anonymous - 25/04/2021 23:00

Spicy

Today, my partner and I were both horny at the same time. I entertained our 3 kids while he jerked off, then he entertained them while I went and masturbated. We live together and this is the first time we’ve been horny at the same time since Christmas, because we’re both so exhausted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 639

You deserved it 397

By anon - 20/08/2012 05:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend got a hotel room with a jacuzzi, drinks, and tickets to Six Flags for my birthday. He is currently passed out drunk on the other side of the bed, cursing me out in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 682

You deserved it 2 662

By Bruja5 - 07/02/2010 05:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, I thought about my boyfriend and all the things we used to do together years ago. Today, I also spent the day doing my now husband's laundry and watching him sit on the couch with his hand inside his underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 367

You deserved it 6 152

By Anonymous - 10/03/2012 02:05 - United States

Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 919

You deserved it 3 245

Next

Top comments

Charlie Given 26

Thursday 28 January 2021 2:06

sounds like you already know it's time to leave

BurnInDemonFire 33

Thursday 28 January 2021 5:39

Get him some help. If he refuses, leave.

Comments

Charlie Given 26

Thursday 28 January 2021 2:06

sounds like you already know it's time to leave

BurnInDemonFire 33

Thursday 28 January 2021 5:39

Get him some help. If he refuses, leave.

juggalo2 20

Thursday 28 January 2021 10:07

As long as he is sticking to a schedule that's not increasing or precluding the activities he wants to do, then it's not necessarily a problem. Is it an unhealthy amount?

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The Top

Today, I tried to nicely talk to my daughter about her rapid weight gain. Having a family history of weight-related illness, I felt it was necessary. I offered to get thyroid tests, teach her to buy healthy food, and start routine exercise. She told everyone I called her a cow and had fat-shamed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 192

Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 053

You deserved it 372

The Top

Today, my boyfriend's parents came over. It got hot, so I took off the jacket I was wearing, but I forgot I wasn't wearing a shirt underneath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 2 436

Today, my cat cracked my phone screen by sneezing on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 895

You deserved it 570

Today, my tween daughter found an exciting new book series to replace her two-year obsession with Harry Potter. Hello, Team Jacob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 732

You deserved it 545

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 017

You deserved it 4 020

Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 103

You deserved it 2 315

Today, I started a new job. The hours are long, but I didn't mind as I could REALLY use the overtime. Turns out, they don't pay over time. I'm just expected to go "above and beyond for the company." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 522

You deserved it 257