Gross and Kids: 5-star meal

5-star meal

By storyofmylife - 15/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 634

You deserved it 10 783

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By gbabyy - 22/11/2009 03:25 - United States

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 744

You deserved it 6 889

By JustLeaveThem - 25/01/2017 18:00

Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 727

You deserved it 289

By lizzard0416 - 30/11/2012 03:00 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 964

You deserved it 9 982

Masterchef 2020

By Anonymous - 26/11/2020 18:58 - United States - Maryville

Today, I was eating some cake that my roommate's girlfriend brought by for us. I felt something weird in my mouth, so I stopped chewing to grab it. It was a fingernail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 61

By Anonymous - 07/02/2014 18:51 - Mayotte - Mamoudzou

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 276

You deserved it 3 661

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 594

You deserved it 3 172

By whattabrat - 26/02/2012 05:16 - Canada

Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 071

You deserved it 3 296

By laxie - 27/10/2009 00:42 - United States

Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 198

You deserved it 3 907

Cocobananas

By Anonymous - 13/07/2021 02:01

Today, I found a banana peel on the clean floor. My 4-year-old son said that he was playing Spider-Man and trying to slip. I picked it up and while walking to the kitchen garbage can, slipped on the actual banana. I slid across the kitchen floor, fell, and bruised my tailbone. He laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 138

Catch!

By babybreath - 03/06/2009 02:08 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 098

You deserved it 10 190

Tomfish3000 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 12:05

That is absolutely disgusting. Eugh, I feel for you.

ninjaxprincess89 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 14:33

and i wouldve gotten arrested cuz that baby wouldve been slapped

Comments

forallitsworth 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 14:34

Word @ 8

loopy_fml 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 14:46

#4- you're silly. There's nothing healthy about a dead cricket that's been behind the couch for days.

quiksta 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 14:54

Why were you having an infant feed you? 'You deserved this one'

insertnameherr 11

Sunday 29 January 2012 18:21

that's what I thought....

thebaroness1984 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 15:24

As a person who works with children, I can tell you that a good rule is: NEVER let them put something in your mouth, especially without looking. It may not be clean or tasty.

Bubs_fml 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 15:28

#13: Chances are the infant was just picking up food and putting it in the babysitter's mouth, and the babysitter decided to humor her. I suppose it should have been somewhere where she couldn't grab random things off the floor, though.

musicalmandi16 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 16:31

i've actually eaten a cricket before. if you put seasoning on it, it's not so bad. seriously, it tastes like chicken and almonds.

Ldy_S_FTW 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 17:44

dude, isn't that like...good protein? I had my cousin & friend eat flies on a dare before...drunken dares are always fun haha

Sulk 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 18:00

Oh you had first hand experience of eating like some sort of aboriginal peoples. Does that mean you're now cultured?

summersong89 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 18:34

i just gagged a little. xP i think kids are adorable (most of the time anyway), but a cricket? ew. always watch what they're doing if they are feeding you. lol