Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML
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Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I'd fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Today, I was sitting on my couch when I felt something weird underneath me. I got up, thinking I'd sat on my phone or something. Wrong. I'd sat on a live mouse. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I awoke to a strange feeling on my feet. It felt like a tongue, so at first thought it was the dog, but we don't have one. I looked down and it was my roommate. FML
Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML
Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML
Today, I was feeding my pets and playing with my puppy when I suddenly felt something behind me. My cat is on the arm of the couch steadily spanking my butt with his paw. I can't win! FML
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Top comments
enamis 3
Well, what was it!? You can't just leave us hanging!
TheCamoWulf 17
You either have a ghost of a decease animal or you have a weird burglar.
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Comments (89)
TheCamoWulf 17
You either have a ghost of a decease animal or you have a weird burglar.
TheCamoWulf 17
I meant 'deceased'
darwinism 30
'deceased' or 'decease' or simply 'dead', either way I don't think such an animal would be able to sniff anything.
mattlw 25
Plot twist: the weird burglar released the ghost of his dead pet to distract you with writing FML's, and thusly rob you blind.
chabelo 10
Hey guys have you ever seen paranormal activity? lol
Codezlol 21
The first thing I thought of when I read the fml was that urban legend story. About that weirdo who kills a girls dog then lays under her bed licking her hand, she thought it was her dog but flips out when she finds out it was some creepo.
DyslexicPanda 12
Or, ya know.. A rat..
Misskayfoyer 14
96- Omg! my sister told me that story when I was younger! It gave me nightmares for months!! I totally thought of the same thing when I read the FML though haha!
milanpatel 10
nice working together
Omegamike101 7
Humans can lick too
pink_alpaca 7
yeah, me too =))
tiptoppc 19
Can confirm you can at least sniff them. Especially when raccoons die under the place.
supertacowaffle 41
Monster under the bed? D:
Grex_fml 9
Pretend your bed is a trampoline. That'll teach it
LeFrogDog 27
anyone else thinking Monsters Inc.
friedpwnadge 25
Maybe the floor is just really attracted to you?
SuperKnuckels 6
none of the above. just Jeff the Killer.
chowE_fml 4
OP must have a mouse/ rat problem
enamis 3
Well, what was it!? You can't just leave us hanging!
Ameel_fml 19
I hate FMLs like this because they never explain the good part. Was it a person? An animal? Did OP even end up checking under the bed? Or did they ignore it and hope it goes away? So many questions! :O
ohioain 18
Truth!
groovycrazyjoe 18
@3 thank you, I can't decide what to press fyl or ydi
sabrinaacrow 26
You might have rats, you should probably check it out
kittycat2007 18
time to buy some mouse traps
Wizardo 33
I'm pretty sure you just touched one of the many lost items of fluffy mysteriousness under your bed.
Geometric 18
No worries, it's probably a worker from Monsters Inc, I hear they do comedy now.
ThatPlankton 15
Drugs are bad, mmmkay.
Grex_fml 9
Gold ^
malheartsnutmeg 20
Could it have been a vent? The feeling and sound of air blowing through could seem like an animal sniffing if you're half asleep.
Metallica36176 16
Either A: You have a mouse/rat/rodent problem, B: A neighbors pet somehow got into your house and can't find its way out, or C(optional): You have a roommate or relative that you live with that has snuck a pet in without your knowledge. I would find out immediately, you don't want a UNCONTROLLABLE rodent problem. Take care of it now. :) Good luck.OP
elephantsarecute 16
Who knows, it could also have been a person who sniffed OP's hand. I'm sure we've all read of stranger things on FML.
chelseaaababyyy 17
Like the urban legend of the escaped mental patient who licks hands.