About Nightfire2258
I'm just another college student getting by on caffeine infusions and ramen noodles. I hope to one day clone and domesticate a Velociraptor. His name will be Jimmy and we will go on daily walks with the sole intent of scaring the crap out of people. Plus it will be awesome playing fetch! (For future reference: No I have not seen your beloved pet and/or loved one!) On the rare occasions I have down time, I enjoy reading, watching a good movie/show, or hanging out with friends. Yes my picture is intentionally blurry. It adds mystery and keeps the stalkers at bay. If I said something to offend and/or agitate you, please fill out the usual paperwork and submit your grievance to receive a complimentary box of imaginary tissues! If the information that I have provided is insufficient and you are not a psychopathic serial killing stalker, please feel free to message me.
Nightfire2258 - Followers
Nightfire2258 - Followed
Nightfire2258's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • Happy ending

    Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • Santa Claus

    You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
  • I like your style

    You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
  • The Mixer

    You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • Supersize Menu

    You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    33%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    32%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    48%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    3%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    3%
  • Censored

    Not one, not two, but 50 pages of the Intimacy category read. No comment.
    38%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    66%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    68%
The list of badges to find
Nightfire2258's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

By Gassy / Monday 21 September 2015 14:45 / Australia - Rydalmere

Today, my boss gave me the job of dealing with the guys doing the roofing at our store. His reasoning is that since we're all Hispanic, I'm perfect for the job because "You guys all know each other." FML

By -_- - / Wednesday 22 April 2015 15:06 / United States - Amherst

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 28 February 2015 18:11 / United States - Portland

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

By Anonymous / Sunday 22 February 2015 20:41 / United States

Today, after swallowing my birth control pill, I threw up all over myself. I then had to search through my puke to find my birth control pill and attempt to re-take it. FML

By denaeb123 / Sunday 22 February 2015 04:34 / United States - Middleton