About Malkavian_mad
Nerd.
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Malkavian_mad's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and me over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

By MrCanoe - / Sunday 1 March 2009 21:58 / Canada

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

By Zekrome / Monday 5 May 2014 07:53 / Canada - Markham

Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on the hips, and a long, sock-like nose. She has no idea they're meant for a guy. FML

By ElephantLover - / Wednesday 11 December 2013 20:14 / United States - San Diego

Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML

By Female_Lucifer - / Sunday 20 October 2013 13:02 / United States - New Lebanon

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

By meganmagee - / Monday 16 September 2013 18:47 / United States - Barnesville