About Shmatterhorn
anime fan, just looking for some fun
Shmatterhorn - Followers
Shmatterhorn - Followed
Shmatterhorn's FML badges
  • Supersize Menu

    You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
  • Happy ending

    Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
  • Picture this FML

    You left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.
  • FAAAAAACEBOOK

    Your FML account is now linked to your Facebook account.
  • I’m your new creative director

    You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • What'ch'all looking at?

    You have put three pictures on your profile, but not necessarily pictures of your profile.
  • The Mixer

    You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
  • I like your style

    You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
  • Inception

    You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return, you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
  • Santa Claus

    You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

    You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
  • I NEED to know!

    You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Friendless, or not going out tonight?

    You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1 a.m. Happy New Year!
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • 42

    See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
    0%
  • I liked to the power of 20

    You've liked 20 FMLs, and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs you liked.
    0%
  • Going for gold

    You looked for gold on FML. What more do you want, money?
    0%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    12%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    49%
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
    0%
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
    0%
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Shmatterhorn's favorite FMLs

Today, some kid asked me if I was Mexican. After I explained to him that I was actually Venezuelan, he simply snorted and said, "That's the same f*cking thing. If you speak Spanish then you're Mexican." FML

By Rinelric1998 - / Thursday 31 October 2013 02:59 / United States - Greensboro

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

By DocKreso - / Friday 28 June 2013 21:59 / Croatia - Split

Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML

By brigitte - / Thursday 27 June 2013 17:35 / France - Noyon

Today, a neighbor's kid decided to pick a fight with me because I'm "the new kid in town and need to learn who's in charge". When I told him I'm 27, he said excuses like that aren't going to get me off the hook. I just moved here and I'm already being harassed by a twelve year old. FML

By LyraAlluse - / Wednesday 26 June 2013 18:12 / United States - Phoenix

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 1 August 2013 07:36 / United States - Goodyear