About Escapehorse
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Escapehorse - Followers
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Escapehorse's FML badges
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Santa Claus

    You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
  • I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

    You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • The Mixer

    You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    6%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    4%
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
    8%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    1%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    2%
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
    58%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    12%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    36%
The list of badges to find
Escapehorse's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

By Anonymous / Wednesday 8 April 2009 00:11 / United States

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's office, I looked up at the news on the TV to see my husband's mugshot. FML

By wtf did he do / Sunday 19 July 2015 09:02 / United States - Anchorage

Today, I woke up to my mother telling me to sit up and get dressed because we had to go before it was too late. I just woke up from surgery. She didn't want to be stuck in traffic. FML

By postop - / Friday 26 June 2015 03:06 / United States - Far Rockaway

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

By killme - / Saturday 7 March 2015 18:42 / United States - Broomfield

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML

By LocallyBrewed - / Friday 27 February 2015 04:11 / United States