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D33war12's FML badges
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  • It's in the can!

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  • 50 favorites

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  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

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  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

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  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

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    3%
  • The return of the thumb

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  • Judgmental

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    72%
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  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
    67%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

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    63%
  • YDI Master

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    14%
  • One more and it's business time

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D33war12's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML

By santashelper / Monday 5 December 2011 23:32 / United States

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

By Anonymous / Tuesday 6 December 2011 02:31 / United States

Today, I was fired from my job on account of "sexual harassment" toward female employees. The harassment? Jokingly offering them foot massages when they were complaining about how their feet ached after a long shift, and complimenting them about their appearance when they felt down. FML

By LucklessNiceGuy - / Monday 5 December 2011 07:22 / United States

Today, a 65 year old toothless gas station attendant asked me out on a date in exchange for free gas, and I said yes. This is what my unemployment has come to. FML

By BrokeandDesperate - / Tuesday 6 December 2011 07:03 / United States

Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML

By snarly1 / Tuesday 6 December 2011 08:57 / United States