About Cassyrosie
Sports are my life:) Music runs in my bones BROFIST!!! Message me if you wanna know more!
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Cassyrosie's favorite FMLs

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

By Anonomous / Sunday 29 December 2014 00:31 / United States - Plainfield

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

By beemove - / Saturday 28 December 2013 21:19 / United States - Kirkland

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 27 December 2013 22:39 / United Kingdom

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML

By bastard - / Sunday 22 December 2013 21:28 / United States

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

By Anonymous - / Sunday 22 December 2013 15:36 / United States