daniellekimberly

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Daniellekimberly's favorite FMLs

You OK up there?

By hurtsmyears - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to endure yet another evening of the old man in the apartment above me screaming, "No, I don't want to shave my nose hair, you crazy bitch." He lives alone. FML

agreeclassic 33 770

vote type 1 2 459

By Anonymous - 07/04/2017 04:00

Today, for the fifth time this month, I had to explain to a group of people that yes, my name really is Donald Trump. Like all the other groups, they burst out laughing and did some Trump impressions for 15 minutes. FML

agreeclassic 7 633

vote type 1 677

Surprise!

By AD240Z - 16/12/2016 11:39

Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML

agreeclassic 8 631

vote type 1 653

Sigma

By DumbassRoaster - 10/07/2016 19:44 - United States - Fairview

Today, I was woken up by my dad and my dog barking at each other, and my dad yelling, "I am the Alpha male!" FML

agreeclassic 12 606

vote type 1 1 734

By Wolf6661 - 14/03/2016 18:29 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, as a mascot for a pet store, I had to fake my own death to stop a little girl having a temper tantrum because she couldn't take me home. FML

agreeclassic 20 814

vote type 1 1 771

Wolf6661 app_comment_confession_title

Wolf6661 22

Tuesday 15 March 2016 3:51

OP here, to fill in the gaps the little girl was about 8 maybe 9 and the parents did try and stop her but it wasn't working, so I felt they needed a hand. To answer the questions of how she reacted, well after she poked and prodded my "dead body", let's just say my ears are still ringing from her shrill little scream of outrage at my "death". Alright well have a nice day y'all taco taco burrito.