Today, my husband called me “my little zebra”. I gave birth a month ago, and I’ve kept a few stretch marks. FML
Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML
Today, I met a woman that I've been emailing and trading pics with for over a month. We had a face to face, she was surprisingly overweight, and the sun hit her face in a way that radiated all her facial hair. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex in the shower while our 5-year old was sleeping. Apparently, she wasn't sleeping and she asked me what those loud noises were. I told her I was singing. Now I can't get her to stop "singing" in the shower. FML
Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML
Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML
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