Miss essex, united kingdom 31 years-old
Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML
Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had taken her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the Adderall they found in my desk. FML
Today, I was helping my church clean up a park. I was given a sledgehammer and told to break up a concrete picnic table so we could haul it off. About halfway through, I swung the sledgehammer REALLY hard, completely missed the table, and hit myself in the shin. FML
Today, I walked past a building site near my house, there was a sign saying "WARNING - Beware of the scaffolding". I started laughing at the stupidity of the sign, and walked straight into a metal pole. FML
Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML
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