tqwen

Today, I tried jumping off my bed over the footboard. I tripped and broke a full length mirror with my face. FML

Today, I was delivering packages as usual for work. I was dropping off a large letter to a hot girl. Before I turned to leave the girl opened her mouth to say something. Instead, she just vomited all over me. Her letter was my first delivery of the day. I had to finish my job covered in puke. FML