Roger Murray

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Roger murray's favorite FMLs

Young love

By Anonymous - 09/02/2022 10:01

Today, I thought my husband was going to explode the vein in his forehead when our daughter's new boyfriend turned up with a Mike Tyson face tattoo, a weed cigarette in his mouth, and instead of “Hello” all he said was, “What up, grandpa dude. Is Sarah ready?” Our daughter's name is Sandra. FML

agreeclassic 1 348

vote type 1 148

Right under your nose

By Anonymous - 03/02/2021 01:56

Today, my husband took our 5-month-old to the doctor, who diagnosed him with a severe sinus blockage and referred us to a specialist. This is the third major health problem with our son that our husband has picked up before I did. My job? I’m a nurse in a paediatric clinic. FML

agreeclassic 534

vote type 1 755

Tough love

By Anonymous - 09/08/2020 05:01

Today, I spent over an hour trying to get my niece to sleep and nothing worked. Then my husband got home and yelled, "Listen brat, either sleep now or be buried in the cat's litter box." It worked. She giggled, ran to bed and 30 seconds later she was snoring. What? How? Why? FML

agreeclassic 1 770

vote type 1 398

So innocent

By Anonymous - 21/02/2020 01:00

Today, my 5 year-old stabbed me in the back with a pencil because I "stole" her nose and wouldn’t give it back. My daughter has been sulking now for 3 hours and refuses to breathe until she gets her nose back. FML

agreeclassic 1 728

vote type 1 623

Great mishap

By Anonymous - 18/02/2020 01:00

Today, while on the bus to my exam I was muttering a prayer for good luck, but the driver stopped the bus, took everyone out except for me and called the police as he thought that I had a bomb in my bag and the worst part was that I missed the exam. FML

agreeclassic 1 915

vote type 1 265